I find those words especially compelling and relevant today, Easter Sunday. Why? Because we have such a tremendous capacity to be mean, cruel, and hateful — the exact opposite of the words in Matthew 7:12.
Now, this is not a column about religion. It is a reminder that, regardless of what you believe and who your faith draws you to, we can learn lessons from messages of centuries ago and do a much better job today at being kind.
That was Jesus’ message. Be kind, love, and do so unconditionally. Not be kind only if you think like me, look like me, and believe as I do. Otherwise, nasty’s OK.
I’m sure I’ll get emails, as I have in the past, that there’s no physical, scientific proof that Jesus existed. While that is true, a lack of proof isn’t uncommon in an era with few written records and marked graves. In “Antiquities of the Jews,” the historian Flavius Josephus mentions Jesus’ name twice, and most scholars believe the document’s authenticity.
While I believe Jesus existed, more importantly, I believe in his message.
I didn’t always. When I was younger — the product of a broken home, a poverty-stricken Bronx housing project with my only father figure dead by the time I was 19 — I found kindness a foreign concept. I didn’t like people much and I made every decision based on what suited me best. How could I wring every last ounce of advantage just for me, regardless of how it affected anyone else?
I’m surprised I made it this far. The turning point, for me, came when I realized being kind doesn’t mean letting go of your beliefs or being taken advantage of. More than anything, it means listening and understanding different points of view without emotional outbursts. It means celebrating the differences in all of us. It means acting compassionately.
I still struggle with that. You should see the emails I get, especially from people who hide their identities, feeling that gives them carte blanche to spew all sorts of vileness (while I take pride in answering emails, I don’t answer the anonymous ones). I want to fire off a nasty, cutting email — something I’m skilled at.
But I don’t. And that’s the other part of kindness. Knowing when to shut up.
If you don’t want to follow the example of Jesus, there are plenty of others you can emulate. Gandhi said, “The simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.”
Martin Luther King Jr. said, “How can you use kindness to make those dreams come true? Start by keeping kindness at the forefront of your mind in everything that you do. You never know the impact that your words could make, maybe even for years to come.”
And my favorite kindness quote: “Be kind, for everybody you meet is fighting a tough battle.”
When I say kind, I don’t mean those random acts that most of us already do: Giving some clothes away, making a donation, buying a stranger a cup of coffee. I’m talking about the mindset. That’s the hardest thing to change.
It’s not good enough to listen to the words of whomever you choose and repeat them. They have to be a guiding principle in all you do. The anger you feel against “those people?” The desire to prove a point at all costs? The feeling you get when you put someone down?
Kindness helps us resist those urges. Maybe, today of all days, we can work on being kind. And if it works today, keep doing it tomorrow. We’d all be so much better off.
Ray Marcano is a long-time journalist whose column appears on these pages every Sunday. He can be reached raymarcanoddn@gmail.com
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