VOICES: Pay it forward in 2023 and volunteer to mentor

Evan Ward is a writer, climber, aerospace engineer and self-proclaimed audiobook nerd. He grew up working on a ranch in Montana, has lived and worked across the United States and currently resides in Kettering.

Evan Ward is a writer, climber, aerospace engineer and self-proclaimed audiobook nerd. He grew up working on a ranch in Montana, has lived and worked across the United States and currently resides in Kettering.

Tis’ the season. Giftwrap, gift cards, gift baskets. The utterly loathsome experience of going to a mall or retail center during the month of December. The deeply meaningful family heirloom passed from grandfather to grandchild through the ritual of the Christmas tree, the obligatory exchange of cookies and $25 Visa cards with your office friends. Holiday gifts contain multitudes.

I grew up poor. I thought my friends who ate cold cereal for breakfast were rich. All that milk! Probably not coincidence, then, that gifts that come wrapped in paper weren’t a very big focus of my childhood. Cakes shaped like a cat for birthdays and a shoebox full of underwear and toothpaste from my grandma every Christmas are what stick out in my memory.

I still don’t eat cold cereal, but I could buy the milk for it if I wanted to. I spend more on fancy coffee everyday than my mom did on breakfasts for me and my sisters in a week. Up until my late twenties I attributed being able to afford pretentious coffee to my own hard work and smart decision-making. Now, approaching 40, I feel more humble. This time of year I think of all the gifts I was given that I didn’t even know I’d received. Many things that don’t come in wrapping paper are gifts. Many things we don’t know we’re giving or receiving are gifts. Perspective is a gift, attention is a gift, a listening ear and friendship that is solid and caring through the years are gifts.

Back when I was so certain that any success I had was due to my own prowess and hard work, I decided I should share some of that with the world. I started volunteering to mentor at-risk youth at Rocktown Youth Mentoring in Oklahoma City. One of the most impactful memories I have from those years was a conversation I had with a young girl named Camry. She asked me one day what my job was. I playfully replied that she should guess. She started with Wendy’s and when I said no she rattled off every fast food joint she knew. She got to Taco Bell, and, with a look of genuine wonder on her face that I can still see said ‘well, then… where DO you work?’

She didn’t know that there was such a thing as a job other than a fast food restaurant. Perspective is a gift, but one I didn’t realize I had been given until I talked with Camry that day.

While you’re running out to buy a handful of gift cards for the folks at the office, or buying the toy for your niece or nephew that the targeted Facebook ad decided you should, think about the other gifts you might give this year. Think about the gifts you’ve received without realizing it.

When did someone’s care or attention ground you, anchor you? Call one of your old friends and tell them how much that gift meant to you.

When did perspective from a mentor show you a new goal you’d never thought of? Think about paying it forward and volunteering in 2023 with organizations such as Big Brothers Big Sisters, Miami Valley Leadership Foundation, or Montgomery County College Promise.

Oh, and don’t forget the clementines for the stockings.

Evan is a writer, climber, aerospace engineer and self-proclaimed audiobook nerd. He grew up working on a ranch in Montana, has lived and worked across the United States and currently resides in Kettering.

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