D.L. Stewart: Let’s definitely do lunch, John of Kronstadt

If you had a chance to sit down for lunch with any celebrity, who would you choose?

When that question came up during a conversational at our house the other day, my wife mentioned Jimmy Kimmel and I pointed out that Jimmy Kimmel is way too busy ripping on Donald Trump to have time for lunch with anyone.

But it did get me thinking about the subject. So I called up Ranker.com, which invites readers to vote in a poll of people they’d most like to meet in person. “This list includes modern-day and historical role models, dead and alive,” the Web site declared.

Some of the results were predictable. The top three vote-getters were Jesus Christ, Leonardo DaVinci and Albert Einstein. No surprises there. But No. 4 was . . . Robin Williams.

Also surprising was that hardly any People magazine headliners were in the top 100. No Taylor Swift or Travis Kelce; the only entertainment figure in the top 25, in fact, was Morgan Freeman. And if anybody wanted to have lunch, or breakfast, with Stormy Daniels, they were too embarrassed to admit it. So they voted for lesser-knowns such as Chloe McCardle and John of Kronstadt. (My first question if I sat down for lunch with John of Kronstadt would be, “who are you?”)

Mostly there were a lot of deep thinkers and ancient Greeks on the list. Aristotle. Plato. Socrates. They all might be interesting, I suppose, if you’re fluent in ancient Greek. And the only U.S. presidents listed are currently dead, so maybe the vote was rigged.

As one one of the perks of my profession, I’ve had occasion to break bread with some famous people. Erma Bombeck, who was charming. Muhammad Ali, who was reflective. Gloria Steinem, who was gracious. Pete Rose who, after our meal, shook my hand and said, “nice meeting you, Charley.”

But I can’t decide who I might want to add to my list. If I picked Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa or Martin Luther King Jr. I’d feel guilty for not having done enough good works in my life. If I picked LeBron James, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or Michael Jordan, I’d feel short. If I picked Cary Grant, George Clooney or Rob Lowe I’d feel homely sitting next to them. (Full disclosure/name dropping: I actually have met Rob Lowe and, yeah, he did make me feel homely).

I’d really love to sit down with Woody Allen, Steve Martin or Bill Maher to share witticisms. But I’d feel too intimidated to contribute to the conversation.

If Jimmy Kimmel and Donald Trump ever have lunch together, though, I’d definitely grab a table close enough to eavesdrop on that conversation.

Contact this columnist at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.

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