Dear Tiffany, I've been there! You and this kid's other victims (teachers and his parents) have been ineffective because you all have been either going in without a plan or listening to the advice of people who have never taught. I have dealt with this from multiple kids at the beginning of every year for 15 years and my method for extinguishing this behavior works 100 percent of the time and is quick and easy. It goes like this:
Kid is asked, along with his peers, to do a science activity. Kid decides that he would rather not.
Kid: J’Shawn keeps looking at me, and my toes are itchy.
Kid Whisperer: (not looking away from the board where he is writing) Thanks for sharing. What should you do now?
Kid: How am I supposed to do science with itchy toes?!?!
Kid Whisperer: Thanks for sharing. What should you do now?
Kid: I hate this school and I hate you!
Kid Whisperer: (through a yawn) Thanks for sharing. What should you do now?
Kid Whisperer walks to another student doing her work and notices how hard she is working while turning his back on the Kid.
Kid: I WANT TO GO HOME!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!
Kid Whisperer: (not looking up from the kid who is working hard) Thanks for sharing. What should you do now?
Notice, as I am sure that you have, that I never let the Kid stop me from teaching and I never get away from saying the exact same two sentences, without anger or haste. All we are doing with this response is acknowledging the child and redirecting him toward the desired behavior. As teachers, we don't have the time or mental energy to think of what to say in these situations and saying anything else would not help the Kid to learn to do his work instead of trying to manipulate. Saying exactly the same thing over and over also helps us to remain calm and not show any emotion, which would also reinforce the manipulative behavior.
Warning: As indicated above, this will make the behavior worse before it gets better. This child has gotten what he wants (work avoidance and attention) for years and years. He's not just going to stop just because you said two sentences. Just stick with it! Kids will keep trying to use the negative behaviors over and over until they eventually realize that they don't work anymore. It is our job to make sure that those negative behaviors don't get them what they want.
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