Woman walking in medical mask with toilet paper during coronavirus outbreak or covid-19. concept of covid-2019 quarantine. (Source: Shutterstock)

Isn’t it ironic. Don’t you think?

Commentary

As sung sadly and un-ironically — and OK, we know: non-rhymingly — to the tune of Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic.”

A young man turned the big one-eight,

He won a spot on the football team and the next day the governor closed schools …

It’s a black fly in your wine with DeWine,

It’s free Broadway tickets two minutes after the shows go black.

Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?

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It’s like people wearing masks who aren’t even robbers,

It’s a free Uber ride when you’re afraid to get in a stranger’s car.

It’s the good advice from scientists politicians just didn’t take —

Who would’ve thought, a pandemic …

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly,

He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye.

He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the flight was canceled due to coronavirus, he thought:

“Well, isn’t this nice.”

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And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?

Yep, it is a little too ironic.

I think we all think.

It’s like needing eggs and people standing too close to you at Kroger …

It’s concert tickets that you just can’t redeem,

It’s the good advice to stay six feet away —

Who would’ve thought, a pandemic …

It’s a traffic jam when everyone is working from home or sadly, not at all —

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is one roll of toilet paper.

It’s meeting the man of my dreams

And then asking his lovely wife to make you a face mask because you are legitimately afraid and can’t sew.

And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?

A little too ironic, and yeah, I really feel like we are in the Twilight Zone …

It’s like rain when you are walking in the street to avoid being too close to neighbors —

It’s a coupon to a restaurant that may be permanently closed.

It’s the good advice from scientists politicians just didn’t take —

Who would’ve thought, a pandemic…

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.

And life has a funny way of freaking you out …

freaking you out.

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