Shakira and Jennifer Lopez co-headlined Super Bowl 54 halftime show on Feb.2, 2020 at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, FL. (Tammy Ljungblad/Kansas City Star/TNS)
Photo: Tammy Ljungblad
Photo: Tammy Ljungblad

Super Booty LIV lesson: Gen X will swing into the future

America learned a lot from Super Booty LIV, my affectionate name for last Sunday’s Super Bowl halftime show.

But one lesson was missed in the fiery debate about garments and gyrations: Generation X will not go quietly to the Soylent Green factory.

Like JLo on her pole, we shall swing into the future like a phoenix returning to the sun.

Senior citizen centers had best invest in poles.

The path has been laid.

Like town criers of old, Jennifer Lopez, 50, and Shakira, 43, gave America warning of things to come with their electrifying halftime performance a week ago today.

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Yeah, I thought it was awesome. Yeah, I stand by that statement.

No, I am not here to re-argue my position.

Just declaring that we, the misunderstood sliver of the generation wedged like a piece of paper in a book between millennials and boomers, will not be wearing polyester pants.

The key attribute that links all members of the slacker and latchkey kid generation is a hatred of fabrics that restrict air flow.

We are going to shake up the way the world thinks of older Americans, for sure.

Converse simply needs to make a Chuck Taylor All Star line that offers replacement knee support.

Don’t blame us for this “drag me to the grave” attitude.

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We did not start the fire. We just smirked at the spark.

We follow in a long line of trailblazers (I see you Cicely Tyson and Dame Helen Mirren types out there) who refused to wear cotton granny panties and granddads who embrace the silver fox lifestyle.

They’ve taught us that turning 40 does not signal the crows to swarm. No need to shrink in the corner.

We shall not surrender.

We will overcome the preconceived notions of what it means to get older (I hope).

Prepare for a small but mighty onslaught of gigis and papaws bumping and grinding to Mary J. Blige.

Our skin is even going to look different than grandpa and grandma of old, so retirement communities should just hire tattoo artists now.

According to a 2015 Harris Poll, 47 percent of millennials and 36 percent of Gen Xers have at least one tattoo. Only 13 percent of boomers and 10 percent of those older have been inked.

There are hidden advantages of being in the generation the world has forgotten and won’t see coming.

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There is extreme power in knowing how to search “the information superhighway” for delicious recipes AND find a recipe book at the library using only a library card catalog.

Give us a pole, and we will swing on it.

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