We could, at least, if we were willing to spend up to $549 for an iPhone and then add a Chad Ochocinco application on to it.
As the Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver himself informed the reported 300,000 fans who already follow him on Twitter:
“If you can’t fly here to chill with me, you can with this app.”
According to an Associated Press report, chilling with Chad includes sound bites in English and Spanish. A “What Would Ochocinco Do?” feature. A “Where’s Ocho?” section. There will be photos, videos and tweets. Not to mention dating advice from the bachelor father of four. All for just $4.99.
Or, as an iPhone-owning co-worker put it, “You gotta be kidding me.”
But this is serious. Or as serious as anyone can be about people paying $4.99 to a football player who already receives a $3,550,000 salary (not counting endorsements) for what is described as “a glimpse into his life.”
And pay it, they will.
Since Ochocinco’s app was made available last weekend, the reviews posted by buyers have been glowing, despite reports of few technical fumbles.
From ledan5: “There is nothing I wouldn’t pay for this. Pure genius”
From Biggest Ocho Fan: “The rest of the app store can kiss the baby with this one.”
I have no idea what kissing a baby has to do with phone apps, but then there’s a lot I don’t understand about the communication pandemic that has infected our world.
I don’t understand how millions of computer users find the time to read the rantings of the countless semiliterate bloomers that clog the Web.
I don’t understand Twitter, or the twits who use it.
I can’t even begin to understand how millions of Facebook members can possibly be interested in the mundane details of millions of other Facebook members. Or how parents who claim to be exhausted from dealing with their own kids can keep from falling asleep while watching a “reality” show involving someone else’s kids.
Which is not to say that I have no interest in the activities of other persons. Every afternoon when my wife comes home from work, for instance, I show my interest in her activities by asking, “What’s for dinner?”
The Ochocinco app may be the first, but it won’t be the last. Another for Buffalo Bills receiver Terrell Owens reportedly will be released next month. Eventually there will be an app for every professional sports star in America, including the ones in prison.
Still, I can think of a lot of reasons I'll pass on chilling with Chad. In fact, I probably could come up with ochenta y cinco of them.
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