Knucklehead of the Week
Alla Kournikova, mother of tennis celebrity Anna Kournikova, is facing felony child neglect charges in Palm Beach, Fla. Police say Alla left her 5-year-old son home alone while she was running errands. Perhaps she was at Toys R Us pricing car seats. While Alla was cruising in her Mercedes, the little guy got out of the house and was found by a passer-by. He told police that he jumped out of a second-story window.
I drove up I-75 during last week’s snowstorm. Could’ve used one of those flying cars they’re talking about building in Dayton (right). Really, the snow wasn’t too bad. In fact, it came in handy in parts of Kentucky. There are pot holes down there that could swallow a Winnebago, so the white stuff provided a great public service as a temporary patch job.
Tiger’s tale: I have a TV near my desk here in Sports, so I got to hear Tiger Woods’ apology to the world about 35 times. I’m not into celebrity worship and regard celebrity apologies as a bigger waste of time than lottery tickets.
Tiger managed to take his “truly sorry” moment to a whole new level. A-Rod and Mark McGwire have nothing on Woods, who insinuated that he’s just an Average Joe and doesn’t “get to play by different rules.”
Tiger’s apology was gift-wrapped for his business partners, but he didn’t forget to mention kids. Oh, the kids. It got so bad that I expected him to point out some of the youngsters helped by his foundation, like presidents do during State of the Union addresses.
The most awkward moment came after Tiger insisted that his household is free of domestic violence. He paused, shook his head and sternly stated: “Elin deserves praise, not blame.”
I wouldn’t blame his wife if she pulled out the driver next time.
Trivia time: Several readers realized that I screwed up my Super Bowl trivia question about presidents and winning quarterbacks. The first genius to point out my mistake was Bret Ritter of Beavercreek. He added that he couldn’t wait for the “duh” moment in a follow-up column. Got a lot of those, Bret.
Anyway, after consulting my team of high-priced attorneys, I’ve decided to award the coveted Joey Votto bobblehead to John Urse of Dayton. He also answered the question and wants to use the Votto figurine in a prize package at a charity golf tournament. I’m throwing in a Tony Perez, too.
Fun and games: I cringe every time I watch a U.S. Olympian on the medals stand in Vancouver.
First, it was tiara-wearing Julia Mancuso’s shimmy after winning silver in the women’s downhill. Was that an audition for “Dancing With the Stars”? Then snowboarding star Shaun White played air guitar — air guitar! — during the national anthem.
I guess everyone needs to stand out from the crowd. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2163 or bkollars@DaytonDailyNews.com.
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