VOICES: What are you going to do to make a positive change for yourself and your family?

On January 24, 2013, I received a call that my daughter’s life was tragically taken by a selfish person who felt he had the right to love her to death.

Receiving that call truly changes the lives of so many.

My daughter, Carly Iman Hughleys, was a mother of a 10-year-old son who witnessed the killing of two people that early morning. His life was never the same. Today he is 21. Those scars will never heal.

After Carly’s death, I wanted to give back to a community that has been touched by the madness of domestic violence. I started giving journals and pens to women in domestic violence shelters in the Miami Valley, and as far as Florida and Georgia.

I chose to do this each Mother’s Day. I no longer had anyone to purchase a gift for, so we gifted nearly 200 journals and pens to the shelters each year.

My thinking was a journal and a decent ink pen to write with would allow a woman going through the experience to journal her true feelings and to help put it all into perspective.

I’ve been told from the shelters that the ladies look forward to these gifts. It pleases my soul to be able to continue to give these gifts.

The message I hope to leave with anyone going through this, whether you are a mother, father, sister, auntie, uncle or friend, is this: If you sense a lack of self-esteem or mental or physical abuse in a loved one, please say something. By the time I said something, it was too late and I no longer have my loved one here.

It’s been 10 years since my daughter’s life was taken at the young age of 32. She was just beginning to come into who she was meant to be. Every year, I post a photo of Carly and her son, and this year a special message was included:

“We celebrate the memory of our butterfly Carly; she would light up a room with her smile and laughter. It’s very hard to truly wrap our minds around how her life was taken because someone felt they had a right to love her to death. Ladies, if you are reading this letter, then you understand how difficult life can be and how it’s important for you to live in a peaceful and loving environment, even if that means you do it alone. You matter, your children matter, you are not the blame. Now let me ask you… what are you going to do to be a change for yourself and your family?”

I give thanks for all the love and support we received from Artemis, YWCA of Dayton, the Family Preventive Violence Shelter of Xenia, and others.

You can learn more about Delsia Taylor through her Facebook Page, The Cove at Carly’s Cause.

HOW TO GO

Delsia Taylor will be speaking at the Artemis Center’s Breaking the Cycle Fundraising Breakfast on Thursday, October 12, at The Sinclair Conference Center - Building 12. The program begins promptly at 8:00 a.m. and will conclude within one hour. Please register by Wednesday, October 4 at the latest.

This benefit raises funds to provide vital direct services to domestic violence survivors and their children. All community members are welcome to learn more about how Artemis Center is working with other community organizations to move toward “breaking the cycle” of domestic violence.

Register by visiting www.artemiscenter.org/events.

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