Don’t let ghosting bring down your spirits

According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of ghosting is, “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.”

A real life definition is — you and I meet, we have amazing chemistry, I bond to you and you disappear ultimately breaking my heart.

You don’t answer my calls or texts, and I am so confused and concerned.

Are you hurt?

Did I do something wrong?

We were making plans, and now you’re gone.

Sadly, ghosting happens all the time now.

Before the internet, when people met via a fix up by friends, no one would have even thought to disappear like they do today.

Their reputation was at stake, and they didn’t want to face the judgment of their friends.

It’s likely they’d have done the proper thing and said, “I think we aren’t a match.”

You’d have had closure, maybe some tears but you’d have known why the relationship was ending.

In today’s cyber world, no one is holding anyone accountable, so it’s easy to disappear.

Men think by not answering your texts or calls, they are NOT hurting your feelings.

What they don’t realize is you hurt even more because you have no idea what caused the rift and no way to fix it.

You can’t prevent this from happening, but I want to give you some warning signs that can help you recognize that you’re headed for trouble with the wrong man when they appear.

Warning Sign No. 1: Chemistry. Chemistry keeps the friendship you need in a relationship from happening.

The intimacy bonds you quickly to each other keeping you from seeing who someone really is until it’s too late.

Warning Sign No. 2: He won’t commit to being exclusive with you.

You bring up the let’s be ‘exclusive’ conversation, and he comes back with something like, “we are having so much fun, let’s just see where it goes.”

Stay aware that he’s telling you exactly how he feels; he’s about the fun not about having a relationship with you.

Warning Sign No. 3: You find yourself feeling more clingy and needy because you don’t know how you fit into his life.

You want to have the talk about the relationship and where it’s headed.

Instead of being honest about his feelings, he just disappears.

Why? Because he doesn’t want to get involved in a confrontation with you about how to improve a relationship that doesn’t exist in his mind.

Warning Sign No. 4: You start talking ‘future talk, ’ and he goes silent.

He knows there’s no future.

He’s just in this for fun.

He stays silent when you talk about the future then disappears versus “hurting your feelings.”

Warning Sign No. 5: He tries to end it, but you draw him back into the relationship because you’ve bonded and you miss him so much when you’re apart.

At this point, he feels like you’re not hearing him so instead of going through the drama of another breakup with you, he just disappears.

Listen to what men are saying to you.

They mean what they say.

Keep these five warning signs tucked away in a place where you can quickly find them.

They can save you from heartbreak with getting involved with the wrong man in the future.


Lisa Copeland, "The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!" Find out more at

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