Have you fallen victim to the automatic toilet flusher?

Silent screams are your only relief when the evil that is the automatic toilet flusher is unleashed.

Oh yeah, it seems like a good idea — a technological marvel even — but trust me, the automatic toilet flusher is a jerk.

This is not “really” the toilet flusher’s fault.

It comes from the ungodly union of German/French sorcerer Seymour von Toilet and the Clapper.

Their motion sensitive offspring strikes quickly and without warning.

“Whoosh,” the toilet flushes, sending up a microorganism-filled spray that can only be described as mechanical backwash.

Don’t for a second believe the automatic toilet flusher acts alone.

Nope, this is part of a restroom revolution being fought right under our seats.

The automatic flusher is in cahoots with the automatic sink and the no-touch soap and paper towel dispensers.

While its cohorts aim to confuse and frustrate, the automatic toilet flusher’s primary function is to make you feel icky.

The secret is out.

Don’t believe me, ask anyone who has fallen victim to the automatic toilet flusher’s charm only to be zapped without provocation.

Those who have experience this nightmare do not require a more detailed description.

Heed my warning and run the other way if you encounter this demon possessed contraption in your neighborhood lavatory.

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2384 or arobinson@Dayton DailyNews.com.