Amy Waker, 47, understands those emotions all too well. Adding to her confusion, she said one doctor told her she was in menopause and another doctor said she was still in perimenopause.
“There is so much yo yo-ing and I don’t know what to expect,” she said. “I wish I knew people who were going through the same thing, or had someone to talk to other than the people I see every day, so I can vent. Some people get tired of hearing the same complaints every day.”
Dr. Neetu Gupta, an OB-GYN, sees this challenge often in her medical practice and says menopause often occurs when women are feeling great pressure socially, financially and physically.
“She might feel broken, irritable, alone, tearful and moody,” Gupta said. “It affects her relationships and work. So many women say, ‘No one prepared me for this phase of life. I wish someone had told me what to expect.’ ”
There are three phases of menopause: perimenopause, menopause and post menopause.
Perimenopause
The time leading into menopause is called perimenopause. According to the Cleveland Clinic, perimenopause can begin eight to 10 years before menopause.
Menopause
A woman is considered to be in menopause after she has not had a cycle for 12 months. In menopause, a woman’s ovaries stop producing reproductive hormones. The average age for a woman to experience menopause is 52 years old.
Post menopause
A woman is considered postmenopausal immediately after she reaches menopause. Symptoms of menopause should ease but some women can experience mild symptoms for several years.
How do women know if they have begun perimenopause? A blood test can check a woman’s hormone levels. Symptoms include irregular cycles, vaginal dryness or discomfort during sex, difficulty sleeping, depression, anxiety, headaches, breast tenderness, joint pain or muscle aches, hair loss, brain fog or weight gain.
According to the Menopause Society, the most common symptoms are hot flashes and night sweats. Hot flashes can leave women drenched in sweat and embarrassed.
“A hot flash is not just feeling warm—it’s an intense, sudden feeling of warmth and flushing in the upper body, which is usually most intense over the face, neck and chest,” Gupta said.
For Waker, her symptoms include mood swings.
“My emotions are all over the place,” she said. “I can be happy and then crying, or I could have bouts of rage. I was so angry and didn’t know why.”
Menopause can increase women’s risk of heart disease and osteoporosis due to lower estrogen levels.
Gupta notes that women have more rapid bone loss during the first four to eight years of menopause.
“Mid-life also is the time when risk factors for heart disease, such as high cholesterol levels, high blood pressure, and being physically inactive, are more common,” Gupta said. “All of these combined factors increase the risk of heart attack and stroke in menopausal women.”
But all is not lost. Journaling, support groups, time with friends and therapy can be effective ways to handle emotional swings. Avoiding spicy foods and caffeine can help ease night sweats, yoga can help manage anxiety and hormone therapy may be an option for some women.
Gupta also has tips for healthy aging that include exercise, a balanced diet, balance training, and a work-life balance.
“Embrace yourself. Prioritize your health. Until 40, your body took care of you; now, you have to take care of your body,” she said.
Waker said getting out of the house and taking a walk helps.
“You have to be OK with it because it just life,” she said. “You’re a woman and it’s going to happen. I’m not looking forward to all of it. I’m worried about being a grumpy old woman but it’s good to have people in your life who will help you see the brighter side of things.”
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