As a woman of faith she knows that the souls of her mother and brother — their true essence — rest elsewhere.
But that didn’t stop the tears from flowing when she saw photos of her mother’s overturned headstone. “To see something broken is to see something break in you,” she said. “In our family we have such respect for cemeteries and for historic places as well. If you are desecrating the dead, how can you stoop any lower?”
That’s a question many are asking after vandals damaged 164 tombstones in the cemetery, now maintained by the Kettering parks department, where the earliest recorded burial dates back to 1803.
The crime has struck a deep chord in the community. “It’s a very hot topic that has gotten a lot of coverage,” said Ron Roberts, public information officer for the Kettering Police Department. “People really mean it when they say, ‘Rest in peace.’”
“You can’t replace a 200-year-old tombstone,” lamented parks supervisor Matt Byrd.
And that doesn’t even speak to the psychological ravages. “I wish the perpetrators could see how this has emotionally affected people,” Byrd said.
Shreffler’s parents, Martha and Dwight Leach, carefully chose this beautiful, peaceful spot when the youngest of their three children, Craig, died in a car crash in 1991. He was 30.
The rose quartz stone is inscribed, “You brought us laughter, you gave us joy.”
It was a great comfort to her parents that they could visit the grave a short walk from their home. “My mom was always very good about getting flowers and wreaths for the grave, and everything had to be fresh,” said Shreffler, pastor of St. Paul Lutheran Church in Willowdell, near North Star.
Now Martha, who died in 2012, is buried beside her son.
The vandals went to extraordinary effort to cause tornado-like destruction in this once-tranquil sanctuary tucked behind a bustling business district. “Some of these stones are really large and extremely heavy,” Byrd said. “It took a lot of work to do what they did.”
And yet, it was the ultimate act of carelessness.
They took no care to learn anything about the remarkable Martha Leach. The kind of person for whom the term “pillar of the community” was invented.
She was inducted into Kettering’s Chester A. Roush Education Hall of Fame in 1994 for her pioneering work in elevating the status of school secretaries and office personnel.
Martha was once named “Woman of the Year” by the Greater Dayton Church Women United. She was known for her one-woman shows portraying women of the church – Martha of Bethany, Noah’s wife, and Martin Luther’s wife.
Shreffler, former editor of The Kettering-Oakwood Times, felt nervous when she told her mother she wanted to leave journalism for the seminary. Would her mother understand what was then such an unconventional choice?
Martha replied with emotion, “That’s exactly what I would have done if I had been given the opportunity.”
Recalled Shreffler, “She was truly a Martha, always busy and always serving, serving, serving.”
Craig’s headstone wasn’t damaged, but Shreffler can’t help but think of her brother’s reaction to the desecration of his mother’s headstone. “He would have been outraged,” she said. “Red hair kicking in.”
Craig was a funny, kind, family-oriented young man who was driving home to Michigan after attending a cousin’s wedding in Ohio. “He was good-natured even from a baby,” Shreffler recalled.
Shortly before his death, Craig confided in his sister about his sadness over a recent breakup. “You have plenty of time,” she reassured him.
“How was I to know there wouldn’t be more time?”
For the Leach family, and so many others, Beavertown Cemetery has been a refuge where they can cherish such memories and honor their loved ones. When Shreffler thinks about punishment for the vandals, she thinks in terms of the lessons they could learn from the dead: “They should do a billion hours of community service cleaning up and restoring the cemetery. Then they should gather the families for a public apology. They should write a history of the cemetery or someone who is buried there.”
The headstones are considered the property of the families and damages may be covered by homeowners’ insurance, Byrd said.
But who will speak for little Robert Law Wead, who died Oct. 1, 1814, at the age of 2? His marble headstone has been sliced like a piece of toast.
“Our law department is investigating whether the city can pay for the restoration when there are no living family members,” Byrd said.
The signs posted on the grounds specify that “flowers and decorations should be tastefully arranged,” and “please, no glass receptacles allowed” and “no beds in the mulching areas.”
The meticulous list of instructions concludes, “Thank you for helping us maintain the peace and serenity of the cemetery for everyone.”
It’s devastating to read those words and then to look around and see landscape littered with marble angels and granite lambs and tombstones collapsing on themselves like a child’s abandoned building blocks.
Shreffler can’t help imagining what she would say to the vandals if she meets them: “Some day you will lose someone you love more than life, and I hope you remember this day. God weeps.”
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