And, of course, a good reason why I’d want a picture of myself on a piece of toast.
It is, I suppose, the perfect solution for narcissists who have taken so many pictures of themselves there’s no more room for them on their computers, pads, phones or wristwatches. Or perhaps it’s merely the answer for all those people who keep wondering “If we can put a man on the moon, why can’t we put a picture of ourselves on a piece of toast?”
But then, I’m still trying to get the whole selfie thing into focus. Perhaps, as has been suggested, we just can’t get enough of looking at ourselves.
Then again, there are times when a selfie is the only answer.
Say you’re walking alone down a deserted street and you encounter Barack Obama, who also is alone. (No, I don’t know why he would be all alone, but maybe it’s because all his Secret Service agents were off somewhere partying.) How could you prove to your friends that you actually had met the president of the United States? You could, of course, take his picture, but that wouldn’t prove you actually met him. Or he could take your picture, but that would prove even less.
But a selfie would enable you not only to have a picture of yourself standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the president but also to put it on a piece of toast.
As with any technological breakthrough, the Selfie Toaster has some limitations and not all breads are compatible. Your picture on a slice of raisin toast, for instance, might make it look like your face was covered with really large blackheads.
Putting our pictures on toast may be only the beginning. At this very minute the Vermont Novelty Toaster Corp. wonks probably are hard at work to make it possible to put our faces on other breakfast foods, such as pancakes, waffles and scrambled eggs, although putting our pictures on strips of bacon might be problematic, except for people with long, skinny faces. But never underestimate the power of technology.
For, now, it’s enough to know that technology has made it possible for me to have my face and eat it, too.
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