“All of our ingredients are free of GMO’s, trans fats, artificial colors, sweeteners and other artificial additives,” the chain’s website proclaims. What’s more, they are gluten free, which is very important because glutens have been identified as the greatest risk to humankind since the bubonic plague. And, of course, they’re low calorie. The sriracha ginger roasted tofu “green bowl,” for instance, has just 240 calories, which is approximately the same number of calories you’d get if you licked the bun of a Big Mac.
HAVE A BIT MORE D.L. STEWART: Shaken, but not stirred, by current cocktail concoctions
All of which seems to be important to a lot of people, because there’s a long line ahead of us when we get to the eatery, giving us plenty of time to study the menu. By the time we get to the first server, my wife has decided on a “grain bowl” consisting of quinoa, roasted tofu, raw beets and shredded kale. Virtually every item on the menu includes kale, which is what goats eat when they run out of cardboard.
“I’ll just have a Coke,” I tell the server.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have sodas,” she replies. “We have some wonderful lemonades, though. There’s beet lemonade, cucumber basil lemonade and cranberry cayenne lemonade.”
“It’s a little chilly for lemonade, so just make it a hot cup of de-caf.”
“We don’t have hot coffee. Only cold brewed organic coffee.”
“There’s tropical green tea and apple cider tea.”
AND OF COURSE, EVEN MORE D.L.: No-homework theory gets mixed grades
“Do you have water?”
“Anything in it?
“I’ll take it.”
I did try one bite of my wife’s salad and it was every bit as tasty as it sounded. But the best thing about going to the eatery is that I discovered it’s located right next door to a new pizza place.