Couples celebrate historic milestone

The kiss that made history occurred in the lobby of Dayton City Hall at 11:25 a.m. Friday, less than 90 minutes after the U.S. Supreme Court issued a ruling that Ohio’s ban on same-sex weddings was unconstitutional and states must issue marriage licenses to all couples.

Kery Gray, 51, a city employee of 28 years, exchanged vows with his 54-year-old partner, Tim Walsh, and then sealed the marriage by leaning in and kissing.

The crowd at the first same-sex wedding in Montgomery County — and possibly in Ohio — erupted into applause and cheers.

Some onlookers, which included city staff and managers, wiped tears from their eyes and texted the news and photos to friends and other well-wishers. Dayton Mayor Nan Whaley, who officiated the ceremony, was beaming. She clapped and then embraced Gray in a tight hug.

Gray and Walsh, like other local gay and lesbian couples, scrambled to be a part of the landmark event by rushing to the local probate court and obtaining their marriage license.

Gray and Walsh were the first local gay couple to wed, and they understood the significance of the moment.

“It’s exciting to be first,” Gray said. “Being married is different than living together.”

As the ceremony of the region’s first gay marriage unfolded in Dayton, couples from the West Coast in San Francisco, to the South in Montgomery, Alabama, to the East in Boston held similar milestones.

‘This is amazing’

At 10 a.m., Mayor Whaley had just finished performing a wedding for a heterosexual couple in her office when the Supreme Court’s decision was announced.

Whaley, a vocal proponent of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) rights, clapped her hands and leaned back in her chair, looking both stunned and pleased.

She checked her phone, and the first text was from Gray, saying “OMG.” Gray is the city commission office director.

She pounded on her desk and said, “This is amazing — I can’t believe I get to be mayor when this happened.” Whaley immediately started clearing her schedule to make time to officiate wedding ceremonies.

The city commission office buzzed with excitement in the minutes following the announcement. Everyone was focused on what comes next.

A staff member printed updated wedding vows for Mayor Whaley to read.

Another staffer darted across the street to print cheat sheets instructing couples what they need to do to get married.

Still another ran out to buy cupcakes for Gray’s wedding.

Gray had hoped the Supreme Court would rule this way and, in some respects, he was ready for it.

He and Walsh had pre-applied for a marriage license online, expecting to get wed right away if the state’s ban was overturned.

But Gray couldn’t prepare for the emotion that came rushing over him.

He fought back tears as he recounted the time in 1990 when he bought a T-shirt at a LGBT rights march in Washington, D.C., that called for same-sex marriage.

He bought the shirt as a joke, never imagining such a thing could be possible in his lifetime.

“On a personal level, this is an opportunity I thought that would never exist,” he said, as he dabbed at his eyes.

Gray and Walsh were among a small group of motivated couples who dropped everything to rush to the Montgomery County Probate Court to get a marriage license. Gay and lesbian partners took early lunches or work breaks to head to the courthouse.

14 same-sex licenses issued

The court issued 26 marriage licenses on Friday, and about 14 were distributed to same-sex couples, said Ginger Heuker, probate court administrator.

The first same-sex couple to be issued a marriage license in Montgomery County was 30-year-old Erin Ritter and 32-year-old Alisha Hackenburg, both of New Lebanon. The marriage license bureau worker cried during their interview.

Walsh and Gray were the second couple to get a license. Less than an hour after ruling was released, at least four same-sex couples had visited the license division.

“Folks think it will be crazy on Monday,” the court administrator said.

Gray said he’s been married to Walsh in his heart for a long time.

Last year, they exchanged wedding bands at during a civil-commitment ceremony at the gay pride festival. Mayor Whaley presided over the event.

But Gray said the state’s legal recognition of his union and the union of other LGBT couples is a giant leap forward, because it affords committed partners rights related to Social Security, inheritance, medical decisions, child care decisions and court protections.

“What this means most is the elevation from second-class status to full status as full, participating members in the country,” he said.

Standing at the bottom of the staircase in the lobby of City Hall, Whaley began Gray’s wedding by reading from the majority opinion of the Supreme Court, written by Justice Anthony Kennedy.

“In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were,” she read. “Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”

Gray and Walsh exercised that right just moments later. They said their vows and kissed, embracing each another for the first time as spouses, recognized under the law.

About 20 minutes later, Ritter and Hackenburg, the first local couple to be issued a marriage license, said their vows and wed, becoming the first lesbian couple to wed in the region.

Ritter and Hackenburg, who have been together more than nine years, did not expect to get married immediately.

They originally planned to hold off and have a ceremony for family and friends to attend.

But they said the moment was too big to ignore. They felt compelled to act.

“We’ve been waiting a long time,” she said. “It’s important to be recognized as a family.”

City Hall was just one of the sites of celebration of the court’s decision.

Marriage definition changing

In recognition of the Supreme Court’s marriage equality decision, We Do Support Marriage Equality, a group of 20 congregations in the Miami Valley, along with LGBT ally groups and Mayor Whaley, met at Harmony Creek Church in Kettering.

Whaley spoke at the gathering, where she received a standing ovation.

“I feel so lucky to be the mayor of Dayton at this time,” she said.

She thanked the LGBT alliance groups for their staunch activism, patience and “stick-to-it-ness.” She performed five same-sex weddings on Friday.

The Rev. Mike Castle, senior pastor of Harmony Creek Church and president of the Alliance of Baptists, a Baptist group with stances on some political issues, including gay marriage, spoke at the event.

He addressed religious groups who opposed gay marriage, saying there is little in the Bible to support the opposition of gay marriage.

“Marriage has changed and evolved since the ancient world of the biblical texts,” Castle said.

Rabbi David Sofian, senior rabbi of Temple Israel in Dayton, said allowing everyone to marry, regardless of sexual orientation, would allow religious traditions to be passed on to future generations.

However, the group said that while the decision was a step forward for gay rights, there are more actions that need to be taken.

Transgender women of color are murdered at a high rate, suicides among LGBT people remain high and there is still a need for protections of employment and housing, said the Rev. Aaron Saari, the leader of the group and a pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Yellow Springs.

“We have more milestones to reach to live into the fullness of equality,” said Saari.

Local same-sex couples said the fight for LGBT equality in the eyes of the law is far from over. They said Ohio still doesn’t have workforce protections for LGBT employees.

“It’s not the end of the work,” Gray said. “It’s one more step.”

Staff writer Eileen McClory contributed to this report.

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