The last of you left a number of years ago, leaving your mother and me alone in this large e,mpty house. Over the years, I’ve told people nearing empty nest status not to get too upset because any sadness they may feel will last only as long as it takes to realize it’s party time.
Truth is of course, we miss you. The nest may be empty, but that doesn’t mean our minds aren’t filled with all those precious memories of both sad and happy times.
Remember the doctor visits, the shots, the fevers, the broken bones, and broken hearts? We remember them too, because we felt every discomfort, every illness, and every pain you felt.
But then there were the joys of seeing you take your first step and hearing you say your first word. These were all too quickly followed by potty training, bumblebee Halloween costumes, the “what-is-it” school art project, the challenges of geometry, and the euphoria of graduation.
The lights peeking from under your bedroom doors and the busy rustling noises echoing down the hallway are all gone. In the morning, those were the indications that you were beginning to start another day. In the evening, those were the indications that you were safe and sound.
It is of course a great relief to no longer have those responsibilities to bear; yelling up the stairs once, twice, far too many times. “Get moving! You’re going to be late again!” So began so many days that turned into months that turned into years.
Now I have no one to yell at about running the hot water or no one to wait up for at night worrying about their safety. Parents have difficulty viewing their children as adults, but after all was said and done, it was time for you to be on your own. But don’t ever think we don’t worry about you anymore. It’s just a little easier when a parent is not aware of all the details of your adult lives.
Sometimes, I find myself second-guessing our parenting. Did we make the right decisions? Were we there when you needed us? Could we have done better helping you with your homework? Should we have spent more time playing catch?
Today, it’s just your mother and me, as it was before you were born. There’s nobody left to coerce to eat their vegetables because your mother and I usually eat ours without much fanfare.
Don’t feel guilty if we’re second in your thoughts. But please don’t hold it against us if you are always first in ours. Rest assured we will always be there for you, because parenting is a job without a retirement option. I only ask that as years go by you find time to schedule us in. Maybe Christmas this year, if not, there’s always next year.
Every day, I glance up as I walk past the stairs and no longer see lights peeking from under your bedroom doors and no longer hear those familiar sounds down the hallway. You are adults and on your own. The natural cycle of life has worked as designed.
Love, mom and dad
P.S. Speaking of the cycle of life, how about some grandkids?
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