Knucklehead of the Week
Wes Welker’s wild weekend at the Kentucky Derby has come back to chomp him in the butt. Handing out $100 bills after being overpaid by a cashier apparently wasn’t the only thing Welker did at Churchill Downs. He has been suspended for four games after testing positive for amphetamines in May. The drugs reportedly were included with some other drug he ingested. Welker says he doesn’t do drugs and wonders if someone spiked his Derby drink. Ah, the old “must have spiked my drink” defense. Sorry, Wes, Frank Solich has the copyright on that one.
I need surgery on my clicker thumb. I tore some ligaments during Saturday’s early college football games while changing channels in a frenzied attempt to find a Big Ten team that didn’t look atrocious. Jake might get to take over clicker duties sooner than I had planned.
Wayne High School played a team from Canada on Friday night and won 69-0. The Warriors didn't want to schedule the Week 2 gimme, but they couldn't find an Ohio opponent. Last time I checked, the Greater Western Ohio Conference had 18 members, including Wayne. The Warriors are playing seven of those schools this year, but needed to make it eight.
Formidable GWOC schools such as Springboro, Trotwood, Piqua, Lebanon and Vandalia Butler would have been great options, but they must have had other plans. What good is a conference if its teams refuse to play each other?
The Michigan-Notre Dame rivalry ended Saturday night because the Fighting Irish laid down their gloves. ND notified Michigan three years ago that it was breaking up. Michigan coach Brady Hoke said the Irish "chickened out" and that's one of many reasons to like Brady Hoke. ND points to its five ACC games as proof it doesn't have time for the Wolverines. Funny, Purdue is still on the schedule.
Florida State is investigating Jameis Winston. The fine, upstanding university reportedly interviewed the woman who accused Winston of sexual assault … in December 2012. I predict this will wrap up in mid-January, just after Jameis declares he's making himself available for the NFL draft. He'll celebrate by devouring a cluster of crab legs.
The Bengals are underdogs in their season-opener today in Baltimore, but I think Cincinnati will get a road victory. The Bengals' young running backs are capable of big things and the defensive line will get in Joe Flacco's face. Bengals 27, Ravens 21.
Trending up: Atlantic 10, Geno Auriemma, Ameer Abdullah. The A-10, in its never-ending quest to position itself as a big-time basketball conference, announced that its 2017 men's basketball tournament will be played in Pittsburgh. That is great news for UD fans; the Steel City is an easy four-hour drive from Dayton.
Trending down: Florida Atlantic, Aaron Rodgers, Reds' green uniforms. FAU kicked off its season by losing to Nebraska (55-7) and Alabama (41-0) and giving up more than 1,400 yards. It would've been worse, but Saturday's runaway in Tuscaloosa was stopped midway through the fourth quarter due to lightning.
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