Craig’s List users are looking for the darndest things.
It can be the wild, wild filthy west.
We do not endorse anything found there. While many of the posts in the personal section are enough to make the naughtiest comedians blush, others are hilarious because they are just so absurd.
Just like the personal ads found in some tabloid newspapers, many read the Craigslist.com personal ads purely to laugh.
I was perusing the offerings after receiving the first ad below from someone who thought I’d find it amusing. I did.
Below are just a sampling of requests from or for area residents recently posted to the “classified advertisements website with sections devoted to jobs, housing, personals, for sale, items wanted, services, community, gigs, resumes, and discussion forums.”
Arm wrestling (Springfield)
I will pay $10-$30 for guys to arm wrestle with me. I am 5’8 and 145 so only looking for guys under 6’0 and 190 lbs. I will pay cash daily.
Do You Allow Skinny dipping In Your Pool? - 64 (Dayton / Englewood)
As a youngster and even as a young adult, I regularly went skinny dipping. There was no stigma attached; it was a normal, common experience.
Frankly, I don’t understand why things have changed to ruin a fun, harmless and clean activity.
If you own or manage a pool, would you be inclined to allow me to swim naked in it? I would appreciate it. Please let me know. Thank you very much.
Halloween Adventures - 35 (Dayton)
I’m looking for someone to meet at haunted houses, haunted corn mazes, haunted farms. The Haunted Junkyard looks different. I don’t mind how far away it is. I don’t really like dates, but haunted housing sounds fun for a date-type thing, maybe a bite to eat afterwards. Plus we can look like creepy parents, although I don’t have kids. If you want to know about me tell me a tiny bit about yourself and I’ll respond. I’ll be come to Jesus honest, but don’t feel comfortable telling my life story in a public personal ad. I don’t have 5 kids by 4 chicks, no women did me wrong and screwed up my life, etc. I’ve never been to jail or kicked puppies.
If you respond, say something totally random in the subject line so I know you’re not a pornbotter. I made an ad 3 years ago and got one real response….. The other 99 responses were pornbots. Maybe my ad sucked. This one looks worse. So this’ll be interesting.
Shut up, do what I tell you, I’m not interested… - 26 (Dayton)
These are just some of the things you’ll be hearing if you answer this ad. I’m an idiot and I don’t care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs
Tips accepted (Huber Heights)
Tips are always accepted by your delivery person. Cash is always preferred but showing skin is never frowned upon. Answering door naked is encouraged, as is contact. Remember we are here for you. Reward us :)
Cuddle buddy - m4w - 19 (Dayton)
Stocky guy just looking for someone to cuddle with. Nothing more. Can watch a film, talk or just lay there. Big fan of horror and comedy movies.
Do you exist…in Dayton? (Beavercreek)
This woman has scars, but she still sees good all around her
She’s seen the world … but prefers her garden
This woman sees more in a book than in a flat screen
She doesn’t text … she talks … and listens
This woman doesn’t mind the rain … or a bit of snow
She adores the sun on her face though
This woman cries at the slightest of moments
She sees humor at every turn
This woman has seen her children grow and go
She still feels them to the core and she will always be in them
This woman hasn’t lost a certain passion
She waits for just the right breeze to quench it
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