Hot topics: Scarlett Johansson, Sean Penn and more

SCARLETT JOHANSSON NAMED “SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE,” AGAIN: Kate Upton calls for term limits.

SEAN PENN SPONSORS 5 HAITIANS FOR NYC MARATHON: The Kenyans were already taken.

SINEAD O’CONNOR SAYS SIMON COWELL “MURDERED MUSIC”: Miley Cyrus “twerked” on its grave.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ SUES MLB OVER DOPING INVESTIGATION: It makes his centrifuged blood boil.

EMINEM’S DAUGHTER CROWNED HOMECOMING QUEEN: This year’s theme was “Stairway to Rehab.”

ALICIA KEYS SAYS SHE BELIEVES IN ALIENS: It explains Nicki Minaj.

QUENTIN TARANTINO LISTS “THE LONE RANGER” AS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE FILMS OF THE YEAR: He wants to do a sequel called “DTonto.”

DAVID LETTERMAN EXTENDS “LATE SHOW” DEAL THROUGH 2015: He wants to break Andy Rooney’s record for “Longest-running grumpy old man on television.”

FICTIONAL ANCHOR RON BURGUNDY PITCHES FOR CHRYSLER: Velour upholstery is back!

FAMED ASTROPHYSICIST NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON FINDS INACCURACIES IN “GRAVITY”: Which is why astrophysicists never get invited to parties.

“BREAKING BAD’S” BRYAN CRANSTON HEADING TO BROADWAY: He wanted to do something lighter, like “Sweeney Todd.”

“BAYWATCH” ACTRESSES HAD CONTRACT WEIGHT CLAUSE: That’s nothing compared to David Hasselhoff’s chest clause.

HONG KONG DISNEYLAND TO OPEN “IRON MAN EXPERIENCE” IN 2016: He’ll do battle with Japan’s “Iron Chef.”

LADY GAGA POSES NUDE FOR “ARTPOP” COVER: And pretty much everything else.

BRUCE AND KRIS JENNER ANNOUNCE SEPARATION: Kris wants the house, kids and custody of the camera crew.

— DAVE LARSEN, RANDY PALMER, TERRY MORRIS

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