Nancy is boot-scooting her way to the CMAs, glamour

I’ve searched and searched. There’s “German for Dummies,” “Poker for Dummies,” “Cooking for Dummies” but no “CMA Awards Show for Dummies” anywhere. Not even a “Nashville for Dummies!” So, I realized when it comes to do’s and don’ts, I was on my own this week at the Country Music Association Awards in the Music City.

Y’all know what a huge country music fan I am, so when the powers that be said I could go to the show, I immediately went into panic mode. What to wear? What to take? What if I run into Dierks Bentley? Or Miranda Lambert? Or Toby Keith? Wait, check that. When we talked to him last week, it turns out he has a “root canal” that day and won’t be attending. “Root canal” is Toby Keith-speak for dissing the industry.

Let’s be honest here: I’m well aware the chances of rubbing elbows with Reba in the ladies’ room is pretty small, but I want to be prepared. That’s why I began the search for the “dress” back in September. After ordering several online (note to self, bad idea) and subsequently sending them back, I finally found one at Elder-Beerman. But I guarantee, I’ll be questioning my choice right up till show time.

What shoes? Cowboy boots, right? Got that covered. I know, not with the dress; I may be a dummy, but I’m not stupid. Still working out how to fit a phone, camera, spare lipstick, ID and money in a little purse the size of a credit card.

Speaking of phones, I actually joined the 21st century and got an upgrade about a month ago, where I now have access to Facebook and Twitter for those Kodak moments.

Even though the awards show is the main attraction, we’ve compiled a list of must-see places. We’re already staying at Opryland and plan on hitting up the Country Music Hall of Fame at one point, so there’s that. After Jason Aldean accepts the Entertainer of the Year Award (just speculating, folks) and the limos leave Bridgestone Arena, we’re planning on hitting up Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge, the Bluebird Cafe or maybe the Wildhorse Saloon, just in case Kenny Chesney decides to play a set or two.

For a country music groupie like me, the CMA Awards have always been on my bucket list. Our seats are in the way up in the upper deck, which means while we’re not close, we’re still in the building. Dang, wonder if my binoculars would be too obvious?