Harden Sr. can thank himself, in other words, for his new lease on life after a successful kidney transplant last month at Miami Valley Hospital.
The son’s big gesture, ironically, may stem from a philosophy about small kindnesses. “If everybody took a little more time to do little things to help each other out, everybody’s world would be a little better,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could just be spending a few minutes thinking about somebody else, or even making a phone call to see how someone’s day is.”
Harden Jr. is an unassuming man who wanted to speak out in the hopes of encouraging other donors. “If you’re healthy, you can donate a kidney and live a full normal life,” he said. “I am not doing this big, great thing. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.”
It was the son who first approached his father about becoming a kidney donor. “He surprised me,” said Hardin Sr., who is now recuperating at home. “He had made up his mind that’s what he’s going to do, and once he has made up his mind, there’s no stopping him,” he said, chuckling as he added. “Reminds me of someone else I know.”
Harden Sr. retired from GM after 35 years as an assembly forklift operator. During the past year, his kidney function had deteriorated rapidly, as a result of hypertension, and for the last six months he had undergone dialysis three days a week. It sapped his energy and brought family life to a virtual standstill as his wife, Sharon, accompanied him to every treatment. Neither Sharon nor her grown daughter proved to be a donor match.
“James Jr. has given one of the greatest gifts anybody could give or get,” Sharon said of her stepson.
Harden Jr., a 1986 graduate of Trotwood-Madison High School, has taken a medical leave from his job as a mechanic for the MARTA public transportation company in Atlanta. After the transplant, his father joked, “I’m feeling this strange urge to go fix a car or a bus.”
Dr. Lucile Wrenshall, director of the living donor program at Miami Valley Hospital in tandem with her husband, Dr. Brian Stevens, director of the transplant program. She said it’s a big advantage to have a family member as a donor because of the greater potential for a kidney match. “A living donor organ always does better than a deceased donor organ,” she added.
That’s why she’s such a strong advocate for living donors, particularly among the African-American community, which typically has a shortage of donors. “I have not run into anyone who regretted giving a kidney,” she said. “You see in the majority of patients a pretty immediate, dramatic turnaround.”
Wrenshall is pleased with the elder Harden’s progress: “The kidney is working very well, and it is going to make a huge difference in his quality of life.”
The couple recently celebrated with their first real date in a long time: dinner at Longhorn Steak House followed by a movie. “This has brought us closer,” Sharon said, “because it makes you appreciate the comforts of being together. We are both retired and we are thankful every day that we have this time together.”
Harden Jr.’s mother, Wanda Black of Atlanta, came to Dayton for several weeks to help her son through the transplant. “He’s an old soul,” Black said of her son. “He has had a helping spirit since he was a small child. He loves his dad, and they have a close relationship.”
The family is overcome with gratitude for the transplant team at Miami Valley Hospital. “I spoke with the transplant team and they were very professional and gave me a lot of information,” Harden Jr. said. “They explained that the risks outweigh the benefits, and that you can live a good life with one kidney. That’s one of the things that prompted my decision. When I die all if this is going to be left in the ground. If I can help someone in this life, it’s what I’m going to do.”
Father and son are enjoying a rare extended visit as well. “We are doing all our traditional eating, because they don’t have Cassano’s in Atlanta,” Harden Sr. said.
Best of all, though, is the gift of many more years to come. “It really is a gift of life,” Harden Sr. said. “You don’t know how people feel about you until they put themselves on the line.”
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