I am calling on my big-footed and big-headed brothers and sisters to come out of the clock room. Rise up my friends and walk those big heads into the sunshine on those big feet.
Kick your boats proudly and bob that head as if that neck of yours canât break (even though it could). Your head is gigantic.
You have nothing to be ashamed about.
In fact, it is people with so called average-sized feet and heads who should hold their heads that actually fit into doors low.
You know what they say about people with big heads? Big brains.
You know what they say about people with big feet? Long arms (seriously, the length of your foot and your forearm â wrist to fold â are the same).
How embraced should our average-sized friends be about their short, stubby arms and teeny tiny hats.
Big is beauty.
Of course there are worse problems than living with an insurmountable mountain of a dome and village stompers, but those problems arenât the ones that make it hard to find shoes and hats so wah, wah, wah.
Feel my pain.
There are things we as big-headed and big-footed people can do to overcome.
First we need to form a group. The Chrome Dome and Giant Flipper Justice League has a nice ring to it.
Our issue clearly needs some action committees to implement some actions and some lobbyist to lobby the heck out of Congress. We seek real change.
A public acceptance campaign that forces our belief system down the publicâs throat also would help as would a fund drive. The money raised could cover the extra fabric needed for bigger shoes and hats to cover our membersâ big feet and big heads.
Each year we could send four students â perhaps two boys and two girls each with big heads or/and feet â to clown college to explore what it really means to love their big head and noggins. If we are lucky, they will mate and have big-headed or/and big-footed babies that will carry our torch into the future.
Weâll also need poster board and a lot of it, too⌠and tape⌠and glitter⌠and oversized hooks to hang our big hats while we work on world domination.
The Chrome Dome and Giant Flipper Justice League will of course have to be very selective of who it allows into its esteemed group. Small heads and feet simply should not apply. To be blunt, you are NOT welcome.
Those who think they have large feet and heads, but really only have larger than normal feet or heads, will NOT be admitted.
Big feet are size 10 or above for women and size 13 and above for men.
We will hold to our high standards.
No card-carrying Chrome Caucus members will be able to fit his or her head into a standard-size bucket comfortably.
We also will administer a fedora test to keep out the wannabes.
Our secret symbol will be a large foot riding on the back of an eagle with a giant head.
There are other ideas out there, I am sure.
If we put our giant feet and heads together, we will be able to change the world. If we knock them together, we will be able to cause the continents to shift⌠again.
Contact this blogger at amelia.robinson@coxinc.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth
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