The data indicates that kids who sext are typically not children with serious problems, although they do tend to be more impulsive than their peers. Rather, sexting is becoming increasingly viewed by teens as a “normal” way to communicate a desire for greater sexual intimacy.
There is a strong connection between sexting and subsequent sexual behavior, according to the experts. Kids who send sexually explicit photos of themselves are revealing more than a picture. Researchers Temple and Choi speculated in the Pediatrics’ article that “… sending a nude photo may communicate to the recipient a level of openness to sexual activity, promote a belief that sex is expected, and increase sexual advances … .”
With over 80 percent of teens now owning a cellphone, kids are using a different way to communicate what they feel — “I’m ready for sex, are you?”
This is scary stuff for parents. We’re concerned about legal issues, since sending nude photos of minors is child pornography in most states.
We’re also worried about the welfare of our kids when relationships go awry. What happens to that sexually explicit photo when teens break up or get angry with each other?
Efforts at educating kids about the dangers of sexting have generally been ineffective. I’ve spoken with a number of teens about this issue, and their perspective is very different from their parents.
First, because they typically sext someone they care about, teens minimize the likelihood of a photo being made public.
Second, teens have been somewhat desensitized by the sexual explicitness of the media. Many teens don’t seem overly distressed by the prospect of a nude photo being circulated on the Internet.
What now?
Since sexting is often an invitation to increased sexual intimacy, parents need to be more open with kids about normal sexual feelings and behaviors, not simply delivering lectures on the dangers of sexting.
About 40 percent of our kids will have sex during high school, a figure that has not changed in the past 20 years. Parents who talk with their kids about birth control, values, risks and benefits of sexual intimacy actually raise children who are more likely to delay sexual intercourse.
If you want to decrease the likelihood of your child sexting, enter in more discussions with your teen about adolescent sexuality in a frank, supportive and positive way.
Next week: How to ask questions that kids will answer.
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