Fortunately, you still have time to buy her a Big Hunka Love teddy bear.
I guarantee she’ll love it.
The reason I can guarantee that is because I just saw a commercial on CNN that showed guys giving Big Hunka Love teddy bears to women — all of whom looked like Victoria’s Secret models — and every one of those gorgeous women swooned with delight and could barely restrain themselves from dragging the guys into the bedroom.
Don’t be fooled by imitations, though. These bears are made only by the Vermont Teddy Bear Co., with genuine Vermont material, except for the parts made in Germany or China. If you buy her a big honkin’ teddy bear from, say, Idaho, you’ll be spending Valentine’s night on the couch.
The Vermont bears come in three sizes: Lil’ Hunka Love Bears are 3-feet tall and cost $89.99. Big Hunka Love Bears are 4-feet tall and cost $99.99. But, if you really love her, or you really have a lot to atone for, get the 6-foot Giant Hunka Love Bear for $199.99. (Add to that $14.99 for next business day shipping, which is what you deserve to pay for messing around about this Valentine’s Day thing.)
And they come with lifetime guarantees, because as the company's website (www.vermontteddybear.com) explains, "Every once in a while a tragedy will strike — a dog attack, a chance meeting with a lawn mower." Exactly why a teddy bear would have a chance meeting with a lawn mower is not explained.
You also can have a personalized message attached to her bear, choosing from such options as: “I can BEARly wait to spend Valentine’s Day with you,” “I’ll love you FUR-ever!” or “Hope we can get BEAR naked.” Any one of those should make her realize you’re every bit as witty as you are sexy.
But why would a grown-up woman want a teddy bear, you’re probably asking yourself at this point. Quit wasting time asking stupid questions like that. Trying to figure out what women want will just make you crazy. As the commercial clearly showed, though, women will be much more excited over getting an enormous teddy bear than they would be if they thought they were only going to get candy or flowers.
It didn’t show the reactions of women who were hoping for jewelry.
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