In “Elevator Girl,” two strangers of opposite genders are trapped. The advance publicity for the movie scheduled for Feb. 13 on the Hallmark Channel in HD doesn’t disclose exactly how long the two strangers are on the elevator, although apparently it’s long enough to fall in love but not long enough for either of them to need to go to the bathroom.
But to help hype the movie, the publicity department contacted a bunch of Hollywood types — many of whom I wouldn’t recognize if I were stuck in an elevator with them — and asked, “When you’re caught in a stalled elevator and there’s no escape, who would you want to be stuck there with?”
The answers ran the gamut from President Obama to Lady Gaga.
Actor Shane West said, “I’d want to be stuck with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. All of them.” Apparently he was unconcerned by the prospect of being asphyxiated from all that hair spray.
Actress Isabella Hofmann declared she would prefer to get stuck “on a really big elevator” with “Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad and all the alumni of the comedy troupe Second City.”
Others opted for practicality.
Jerry Stiller, for instance, said he’d want to get stuck with The Amazing Kreskin, whose psychic abilities “would help up find a way to get to the nearest floor.” I wouldn’t be too sure about that. I interviewed Mr. Kreskin one time and when we walked out to the parking lot afterwards I had to help him find his car keys.
Actress Julie Benz was even more pragmatic. She said she’d prefer to be stuck with “the elevator repairman.”
The most touching response came from an actress by the name of Courtney Thorne Smith, who said, “I’d want to be trapped with my dad, who died a couple of months ago. Just to be able to hear him tell a few bad jokes (for the thousandth time) and so I could tell him how much I love him (for the millionth time).”
If the publicists had asked for my choices, I’m not sure who I’d pick. That’s probably because I actually was stuck on an elevator one time and I was too busy panicking to fall in love or even to care who was or wasn’t on there with me.
So all I could do was hyperventilate until I heard a person shout, “Is somebody in there.”
“Yes, I’m in here,” I shouted back.
To which, I swear, the person replied:
“I’ll get some help. Don’t go away.”
Based on that experience, I can tell you one thing: If you’re ever trapped on an elevator for any length of time, you’re not going to care who’s in there with you.
Just as long as they believe in deodorant.
Contact D.L. Stewart at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.
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