Are there some people or problems you don't like? A psychologist cannot be skilled in every area, so we typically specialize in a few problems. I do not treat alcohol or drug problems or kids with a severe psychosis. A few years ago, I treated a number of teenagers who had sexually molested much younger children. I soon realized that I just couldn't understand these teens and found working with them very unpleasant. These kids really needed treatment, but I was incapable of doing it.
If you had problems in your own childhood, does that make you more understanding of the kids you treat? No. It's dangerous to assume that others had the same experiences as you did just because they had similar problems. I have never said to a child or parent, "I know exactly how you feel." Everyone's experiences are different. I'd hate to think that my normal childhood and loving parents were a disadvantage in my career.
Do you make people lie down on a couch in your office? No. I do have a couch, but it is most often occupied by a large stuffed bear.
Can kids tell you anything and you keep it a secret? No. It's really important that kids and parents be honest or little can be accomplished. My effectiveness depends a great deal upon a trusting and caring relationship that I try to create with every child and parent. Maintaining confidentiality is a big part of trust. However, I am required to tell others when a child might hurt himself or others, or when a youngster has been abused.
Do you use psychology on your own family? Absolutely! I've learned so much from kids and families, why wouldn't I apply that knowledge to my personal life?
What is the hardest part of your job? To be effective, I must be empathic and really understand the world of the kids in my office. That means I must try to understand without judging, feel what they are experiencing and see the world from their perspective. However, I must also remain emotionally detached and objective so I can offer good guidance and support. It's really hard for me to be both emotionally engaged with kids and detached at the same time.
Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., is a child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton. For more of his columns, visit www.childrensdayton.org/ramey and join Dr. Ramey on facebook at
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