In fact, as a young lieutenant, I was very afraid of him. I wasn’t alone, however. All of my fellow lieutenants were afraid of him, too. Actually, every soldier I knew in the regiment was afraid of Col. Burney. We all referred to him as Darth Vader.
Do you think that young 2nd Lt. Traver ever went to Col. Burney’s office with any of his concerns, problems, mistakes or errors? Absolutely not! To me, Col. Burney was about the most unapproachable man on the planet. I avoided the command section at regimental HQ like the plague.
You will learn something from every leader that you will ever have, and what I learned from Col. Burney was that leadership by fear was not effective in the long term. I realized as a young officer that I would not, I could not, be that kind of leader. I decided that I wanted to be the exact opposite type of leader.
I wanted to be a leader who was approachable and trusted and not a leader who was feared and avoided. I made being approachable the governing trait of my leadership style throughout my military career mainly because of the negative impact Col. Burney’s leadership had on my morale. I simply never wanted to be like him.
Have you had a Col. Burney in your career? It is likely you have had a leader who wasn’t very approachable. Did you enjoy working for that leader? How many leaders do you know who are approachable?
The kind of leader who makes you feel comfortable, puts you at ease and makes it easy to talk to them? The kind of leader who spends extra time and attention really listening to you? No matter your level of leadership, I recommend that you always work to make yourself a more approachable leader.
In my opinion, being approachable is key to building relationships and creating strong teams with trust and confidence. When you are approachable, team members are less likely to sit on or cover up problems and they are more likely to bring issues to you before they become crises. I encourage you to make a conscience effort to be more approachable.
An approachable leader makes people feel more comfortable and puts them at ease. It has been my experience over the years that people who are comfortable and at ease at work, tend to work together better, connect more, have better morale and higher work satisfaction.
How can you make yourself a more approachable leader? Below are the things I have purposefully concentrated on improving in an effort to make myself a more approachable leader.
First, I get out of the office and I go out to visit my people. Leaders who sit in the office all the time can become cut off from those they lead. If your people rarely see you, they won’t feel comfortable coming to you when they need to talk or have a problem.
I made the conscience choice years ago to smile more. A smile is inviting while a scowl is not putting out the vibe that says, “I’m approachable.” Rather it says, “Stay away and don’t bother me.”
I strive to improve my listening skills all the time. I try to listen intently and give the person, who came to talk to me, my undivided attention. As a leader, you can’t always fix things, but you can serve as a sounding board for others. Listening demonstrates compassion and empathy and lets people know that you care and that they can come to you when the news is good or bad.
I work hard to learn all my squadron members' names and a little bit about their families and their lives outside the Air Force. This can be very difficult in large organizations but when you make an effort to learn about them, people see your willingness to get to know them and it makes you more approachable.
I always try to project a positive attitude. There are positive people and there are negative people. People are generally drawn to positive people who don’t hold a negative world view. A negative attitude makes others see you in a negative light.
I like to chat with my squadron members. I don’t chat with them about work but, rather, I chat with them about almost anything else. Not every interaction with the boss has to be about work, and I think a willingness to just chat" opens doors, makes people more comfortable and humanizes a leader, making the leader more approachable.
How approachable you are to others is really up to you. I truly believe, though, that making myself more approachable and accessible has been key to whatever success I have had as a leader and as a commander. I believe the efforts I have made at making myself a more approachable leader has improved my unit’s morale, improved mission accomplishment and let my people know that I care about them as individuals.
At the end of the day, as famed American poet Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
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