They are Cop stories, some of them written up by police in their daily reports, some of them so removed from the stop or arrest the cops just keep them in mind when they gather and talk about their days in the field.
Some of the stories are funny. Others are harrowing. Most are unusual to the average man on the street, but become the norm for those on the beat.
From time to time, we’ll run some of these stories, without revealing names of those involved, to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty.
BEAVERCREEK – Not to bury the lead, but there are some good stories here before you get to the sexual incident at the end.
Okay, so maybe you’ll come back.
Whatever.
Every community has a person or more who drinks too much, and the police keep tabs –not to drop a pun – on many of them.
“We have a local gentleman we deal with quite a bit,” the patrolman said. “He’s in his 50s, and has an alcohol problem.
“A few years ago, he went to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. They registered him at 4.0 (breath test), which would kill most people. He got released about 2 o‘clock the following day, and he didn’t have a driver’s license, so he decided to drive his lawn tractor up to the Dairy.
“He got a sundae, and there’s a drive-through next door, so he got a case of beer and proceeded to insult the female employees. They called us. We ended up finding him on his way home driving his tractor and his sundae melting and a case of beer between his legs.
“He hadn’t had a drink since he left the hospital, and still tested in a low 3. He was arrested for an OVI. We deal with him on a monthly basis. He’s a decent guy when he’s sober. He lives with mom.
A person doesn’t have to be an alcoholic to get drunk. One young woman was in her car heading into Beavercreek going over a bridge. The officer was watching.
“I hear this grinding noise,” he said. “She’s riding against the bridge and grinded off the whole side of her car. Sparks were flying everywhere. I asked if she had been drinking. She said she hadn’t had a drop forever. She tested a 3.1. She was highly intoxicated.”
Another time, a woman was driving home from a party on Colonel Glenn at Grange Hall Road. A State Highway Patrol officer was going to stop her for erratic driving, but wanted her to clear the intersection. He waited a few seconds too long.
“As she was going through the intersection,” the Beavercreek officer said, “a guy ran through the light and t-boned her. She was completely not at fault for the crash. But she had so much to drink, she couldn’t even walk, and was very belligerent. She refused everything (field sobriety and breath tests).
“Then, when we took booking photographs, she started posing provocatively. We couldn’t stop her from posing. She didn’t realize (the pictures would be used) when she got to court. She was highly embarrassed by that. Then the audio, she was very vocal after being arrested. Her attorney apparently didn’t get audio before court. That came out in the trial.
Okay, we’re getting closer to that story at the end, but not quite there yet.
Two male partners were having an argument at an apartment because one allegedly stepped out on the other. One was yelling obscenities at the other before someone called police.
“When we got there, there was a guy with a t-shirt over his face,” the officer said. “I thought he got popped in the nose. Here he had the tip of his nose bit off, and it was in his hand.
“The only reason he got the guy off him is the guy who was bit was smoking a cigarette and he burned his partner in the eye.”
All right, for those of you who waited, here’s your sex story, cleaned up as much as possible.
A single mom leaves home for the bar scene, leaving her 16-year-old son at home.
He calls his buddy, a 15-year-old, and the two of them repair to the garage for a little underage drinking.
Much later, the mom returns, but with three men. The son doesn’t hear them come in, but he has to go to the bathroom, and he hears noise in his mom’s room and knocks on the door.
He is impolitely told to get lost by the three men, only they don’t know the kid is big for his age, maybe 6-foot-3 or 6-4.
“He decided to kick the door off the hinges,” the officer said. “And he sees mom with three naked guys over her. He starts beating (on) these three guys. Mom’s freaking out. She actually tries to jump out the window, and got stuck. Her head and arm and boob were hanging out the window.
“The 15-year-old friend is a real tiny guy, but he comes in and sees his friend fighting with these three adults, so he takes a metal pipe and took a guy’s ear almost off. He canes another guy across the back. He just works these guys over. One of them called us (on his cell phone).
“I get there, and I‘m coming into this mess and it smells like blood and sex. After I figure out what was going on, I ask this poor kid’s mom, ‘Were you yelling for help? Is that why he kicked the door off the hinges?’
“She said, ‘Honey, I was yelling, but it wasn’t for help.’”
Okay, now go back and read the parts you skipped.
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