For me, getting married is something I have always dreamed about. Having a disability has nothing to do with lessening my desire to become a spouse, to not just any man, but one who is deserving of my love.
I am happy to report my prince has come and we are very much in love, but my dream of happily ever after may never come true because of the law.
It’s not that the Social Security Administration (SSA) prohibits a person with a disability from marrying, but if one does, he or she will suffer the loss of benefits under the marriage penalty. For instance, if my friends Bill and Sherri, who receive Supplemental Security Income marry, they will receive 25 percent less in benefits. The thinking behind this is that, because of their combined income, a couple will need less assistance than they did as individuals. I think this logic stinks.
Marriage can affect Medicaid benefits. Medicaid considers household income, which includes a spouse’s income; if that puts an individual over the income limit for a couple (which varies from state to state), you may lose your Medicaid coverage.
Currently, I receive Childhood Disability Benefits, which is a form of Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). CDB is an income benefit for individuals who were disabled by the age of 22 and have a parent who paid into Social Security system and is retired, dead or is disabled. Thanks to my father, who is deceased but worked a long time for a good-paying factory company, I receive these benefits. My father’s diligence in working to support his family has helped me to live a decent quality of life.
My prince, Darryl, is a great man, a hard-working one, but happens not to be rich as of yet. If Darryl and I marry, I will lose my CDB income, which is my primary source of funds. If Darryl was receiving benefits, as well, I would not totally lose my income, but it would be reduced.
The rationale seems to be when you get married and your husband is able-bodied, he should be able to support you completely. I am good with the man helping out, but this is 2016. When my husband is bringing something to table, I want to, as well. And what woman doesn’t want her own income? After marrying Darryl, I could probably qualify to receive some benefits, but it would not be enough to make ends meet.
This issue has really got the disability community fired up all around the U.S. and rightfully so. Many people with disabilities are writing letters to their legislators, starting marriage equality petitions and talking about this matter wherever they can.
I hope this marriage equality issue will be resolved in the near future so Darryl and I, as well as millions more with disabilities, can get married in the sight of God, family and friends and not be penalized by the government. For now, it’s suggested that the next best thing to getting married is to have a unity ceremony where no official papers are signed. I want a legitimate wedding with all the bells and whistles. Let’s pray our voices will be heard so my dream can become reality.
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