The whole "Which is better" question will never be resolved, of course, but it makes for a fun debate — which is exactly what former Dayton Daily News photographer (and masterful home-brewer) Jim Witmer and I did in a story that was published, oh, a few short years ago (***cough*** 2005 ***cough****).
Funny to look back on this now — I’ve discovered craft beer with considerable enthusiasm over the last couple of years, and Witmer has always enjoyed the occasional glass of wine. But without further ado, I give you my:
TOP 10 REASONS WINE IS BETTER THAN BEER:
10. Did you ever hear of a “wine belly?”
9. Wine glasses don’t weigh as much as beer mugs — less wear and tear on the wrist and elbow, fewer cases of carpal tunnel.
8. Fewer unanticipated belches (unless consuming champagne).
7. Doesn’t open the “flood gates” quite the same way beer does.
6. Was there an Oscar-nominated movie about beer in 2004? Nope. It was “Sideways,” all about wine.
5. Ages better — and so do those who drink it!
4. Jesus didn’t turn water into beer; he left that to Miller and Anheuser-Busch, which proceeded to get the process backward and turn beer into water.
3. Tastes better with ALL kinds of food — not just brats, chili and tacos.
2. When asked what attributes they’re looking for in the perfect mate, “Knows how to navigate a beer list” never makes top 10.
And the No. 1 reason wine is better than beer: 1. Tastes great, less filling!
TOP 10 REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WINE:
10. Beer doesn’t rely on a piece of wood to give it character.
9. The French don’t set the standard for beer-making and food-pairing.
8. Beer is richer, better looking and has a better body.
7. The twist-off cap. Wine makers are just starting to figure that one out.
6. Beer doesn’t need a movie about two losers (Sideways) to increase its popularity.
5. Beer never has a “bad year.”
4. An old English beer-drinking song inspired the melody for “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Wine coolers inspire Britney Spears.
3. No phony pseudo-sophisticated snobby elitist names starting with “chateau.”
2. Beer is so cool we use it to describe ourselves. We want six-pack abs, not magnum thighs.
And the No. 1 reason beer is better than wine: The Mayflower was loaded with beer, not wine. So was Ben Franklin when he discovered electricity.
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