“Determination is the wake-up call to the human will,” it read in blue ink.
“Reeeeeally,” I thought. “Is that all you’ve got?”
Not that the saying wouldn’t make a good inspirational bumper sticker, but when the fortune cookie crumbles and the paper is revealed, I am not looking for pleasant.
I want something I can end with “in bed.”
You know the game:
“Sell your ideas — they are totally acceptable (in bed).”
“Money is the root of all evil and man needs roots (in bed).”
“Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life (in bed).”
All things considered, “Determination is the wake-up call to the human will (in bed)” isn’t the worst, but it falls far short of a LOL. It’s not even an L.
So does, “Even in the greatest confusion, there is an open channel into the soul (in bed).”
Where is the mystery? Where is the opportunity for a double entendre?
They lack zest and are definitely no “All will go well with your new project (in bed),” “Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you (in bed)” or “It doesn’t matter. Who is without flaws (in bed?)”
Chinese fortune cookie manufactures you are on notice.
If you are not going to give me a fortune, give me liberty and something to amuse my inner 12-year-old boy or else.
It’s the right thing to do. Otherwise Amelio Jr. is left with Seth Rogen movies and cracks about ancient and disturbing bodily functions.
If I wanted motivation, I would read any edition of “Chicken Soup For the Soul” or watch “The Biggest Loser.”
I definitely wouldn’t sacrifice a helpless fortune cookie.
Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2384 or arobinson@Dayton DailyNews.com.
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