But when I go online to redeem them I discover that the requirements for business class have escalated a bit and what we actually have is enough points for two business class seats from Minneapolis to St. Paul.
So I contact a travel agent, who speculates that we might have enough points if we don’t mind a layover in Newark.
“How long a layover? I ask.
“Ten hours.”
While a 10-hour stay in a New Jersey airport sounds like a great way to start an overseas trip, we decide to settle for coach.
Which is when I discover that we don’t have enough points for two coach tickets, either. I have enough for mine, but my wife doesn’t have enough for hers. Fortunately, the airline will allow me to transfer some of my points to her. For $250. Plus a processing fee and a tax recovery charge.
But even then we won’t have enough points, unless we charge $10,000 worth of groceries to my card by the end of the week. So we have to “buy” 10,000 additional points. For $350.
In addition, there is another $101 charge added to each ticket for benefits that are not clear. By this point I’m starting to suspect that it would be cheaper to simply buy the tickets.
And while all of that takes care of the tickets, it does not entitle us to seats. Because, while we have been busy figuring out our miles, all the adjoining pairs of seats in coach have been sold, except for two in Row 13 designated as “premium” seats. “Premium” is airline-speak for seats that do not require you to fly with your knees in contact with your chin. Unless you’re over 4-foot-3, which I am.
The charge for seats that will not cause permanent curvature of the spine is $60 each. Each way.
By the time we add baggage charges, trip insurance and travel agent fees to the cost of our free tickets, I’m pretty sure it would have been cheaper just to buy the plane.
But we’re looking forward to a wonderful flight, during which we will enjoy a bag of pretzels that may or may not come with a fee.
Contact this columnist at dlstew_2000@yahoocom.
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