As it turns out, you are the poshes among us. Tell all your friends.
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My super posh buddy, your girl Amelia is here for you in a way that neither Santa or that plump New Year’s babe have ever been.
I’ve. Got. Your. Back.
I’ve come up with a So Last-Minute It Is Super Late Holiday Guide that won’t require you to wrestle anyone for a Little Tikes Cozy Couple 3 in 1 Mobile Entertainer at Target.
Oh no, I have five — count 'em — gift ideas that anyone can obtain without putting on pants or going to the store, of all places. Even the Grinch would take note of these wonderful gifts.
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1) Lint Cuddlies
Now who does not have lint lying around the house? Put it to good use. Gather your couch, pocket and purse lint and throw it in a sack with some glue. Form your creation into a ball and then shape it into a Teddy bear, shark or alligator.
Kids love and appreciate Lint Cuddlies. I still have one from second grade.
Time needed to complete: 7 hours
Project cost: -17 cents
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2) Dead Battery Fort
Those dead batteries aren’t going to reduce, reuse or recycle themselves. You are a grown-up and you can help them out.
Take the dead batteries collecting dust in your kitchen junk drawer and plop them on the dining room table. Using all the rubber bands you’ve collected from produce at Kroger, make a fort Little Jimmy will NEVER forget. Little Jimmy will have the best so-last-minute-it-is-super-late Christmas ever.
Time needed to complete: 20 minutes
Project cost: $7,000
3) Soap Jewelry
Diamonds maybe a girl’s best friend, but a soap necklace will keep her all fresh when times get rough. You’ll only need pliers, chicken wire, a pitchfork and half-used bars of soap.
Time needed to complete: 18 seconds
Project cost: .9199 dollars
4) Personalized Condiments
Your grandpa and Uncle Charlie like BBQ, don’t they?
Why not make them a specialized sauce using the contents of old BBQ sauce you have in your fridge? Use sauces from those extra condiment packages you’ve collected from Taco Bell, McDonald’s and Arby’s to spice things up.
Time needed to complete: 3 minutes
Project cost: $7.33
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5) Storage Containers
What is your loved one going to do with all of his or her stuff?
What if they could put it in a storage container? Grab some empty boxes — Amazon has probably sent them to your house — and wrap them up. For an added spike of glamour, personalized your newly branded storage containers with the name(s) of your loved one.
This makes a wonderful gift for an entire family or a single.
Time needed to complete: 24 hours
Project cost: $9.6 million