Over the past 30 years, McKinley, a Wright-Patterson Air Force Base employee, and Stafford, a Los Angeles-based actor, have been grateful for each other but especially now at a crucial moment in Stafford’s life. On March 31 Stafford will undergo his second kidney transplant with McKinley as his donor.
Credit: CONTRIBUTED
Credit: CONTRIBUTED
‘A friend has a need and I know I can fill that need’
When Stafford was in second grade, he was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease called focal segmental glomerulosclerosis. He knew then he would one day need a transplant. In 2003 his mother was his donor.
“I often say she gave me life twice,” Stafford said. “Kidney transplants only last 25 years max and my current transplanted kidney has kept me alive for the last 23 years.”
Knowing his second transplant was imminent, he once again turned to family but ultimately looked elsewhere.
“My family was unable to donate so I had to find someone willing to help,” Stafford said. “But (Mandi) volunteered and after being tested turned out to be a match. When someone wasn’t signed on the dotted line to be my (donor), it felt a little hopeless, a little scary. If I didn’t get a donor I would have to go on dialysis, which is one of the biggest issues right now with organ donation. There are almost 100,000 people currently waiting for a kidney and the longer you wait you have to go on dialysis. When Mandi said yes, my (anxiety) went away. She is an amazing person.”
Credit: CONTRIBUTED PHOTO, THE ROOKIE, ABC
Credit: CONTRIBUTED PHOTO, THE ROOKIE, ABC
When initially approached by Stafford, McKinley, who has never had a major surgery, didn’t question her benevolent instincts.
“For me, it was a friend has a need and I know I can fill that need,” McKinley said. “We were still great friends when he had his first kidney transplant from his mother and I remember thinking at that time, because we knew the kidney wouldn’t last forever, that I had his next one. I feel glad to be able to show up for my friend in this way. Patrick has been through so many of my milestones with me and I’ve been through so many with him. I think I would’ve had a harder time if something came back in my health (report) saying I wasn’t a capable donor or not a match. I probably would’ve felt worse about that.”
As she began discussions with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, McKinley was told about an option through the National Kidney Registry that wouldn’t require her to travel across the country for the procedure. She could donate in Ohio and have Stafford receive in California on the same day.
“I’ve been working with the University of Cincinnati (Medical Center) for almost a year now to go through the evaluation process,” McKinley said. “In October I found out not only was I a good match for Patrick but I was medically cleared and committee reviewed. So, we’ve been using the past several months getting everything lined up and ready to go.”
‘She is saving my life from afar and that is a beautiful miracle’
Born and raised in New Carlisle, Stafford, 44, is a Muse Machine alum who starred as Benjy Stone in the arts education organization’s 2000 production of “My Favorite Year.” He’s also a graduate of the Boston Conservatory.
His acting credits include “Modern Family,” “Glee,” “Criminal Minds” and “NCIS.” He notably reprised his role as emotionally disturbed Ryan Dearborn on the March 9 episode of ABC’s “The Rookie,” which is streaming on Hulu.
“Broken characters are always a little more fun to play, especially on TV shows,” Stafford said. “I get to do more interesting stuff than most of the actors who are regulars on the show. There’s an energy about doing something dark, crazy or unpredictable. It’s exciting.”
Credit: CONTRIBUED PHOTO, THE ROOKIE, ABC
Credit: CONTRIBUED PHOTO, THE ROOKIE, ABC
He is still amazed by McKinley’s decision to be his donor, allowing him to continue to his artistic endeavors and other pursuits for another 20 years.
“She is saving my life from afar and that is a beautiful miracle,” Stafford said. “It’s such an overwhelming gift. A massive sacrifice. To me, it’s the definition of selflessness and kindness.”
McKinley, 44, is thankful to be supported in this journey by her husband and high school sweetheart Andy and daughters Allie, Annie and Emily. She remained open with them about the process, particularly reassuring her daughters along the way.
“They were worried about how it would impact me so I walked them through the research and the findings,” she said. “I told them I would be moving a little slow and would (feel) a little down for some time but I helped them understand that while this is a temporary thing for me it changes Patrick’s ability to live his life. He’s not tied to dialysis or having a reduced life span. And after that they were all on board.”
Credit: CONTRIBUTED
Credit: CONTRIBUTED
‘My kidney is going to live its best life’
McKinley hopes her testimony inspires others to consider organ donation. She spoke highly of the University of Cincinnati medical staff who has guided her with intentionality and thoughtfulness.
“I have felt very cared for in this process,” she said. “I’ve been given every opportunity to change my mind or reconsider. Yes, it’s not going to be super comfortable but it’s life-changing for the recipient. To know we have the ability to change someone’s life is such a powerful blessing and a motivator.”
Credit: CONTRIBUTED
Credit: CONTRIBUTED
She takes comfort and joy in realizing her longtime bond with Stafford has been bolstered in a deeply special way.
“My kidney is going to live its best life,” McKinley said. “Patrick travels all the time and does all these neat things. So, I’m excited to know I’m in some way a tiny part of him getting to continue to do those things. It’s so encouraging to know his life will be a fulfilling life with this opportunity.”
To learn more about organ donation, visit organdonor.gov.
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