Four babies old enough to crawl but too young to be drafted by the NBA competed in the race I saw, which required them to travel 10 feet across a rubber mat that was bordered by colorful stacks of diaper packages. (OK, only three technically competed. The baby in lane one inched about 6 inches away from the starting line, made a hard right turn and spent the rest of the race examining a diaper package.)
But the other athletes traveled in relatively straight lines, pausing every foot or so to plop back on well-padded bottoms and look around at all the surrounding people who were yelling, cheering and generally acting goofy, the way fans do at other sporting events.
Eventually two of the crawlers neared the finish line, where their mothers waited with open arms and encouraging shouts. In a blatant, but apparently legal, attempt to entice her baby, the mother in lane 2 tossed a cookie, or a Cheerio, or something edible onto the track. The questionable tactic failed, though, because the baby in lane 3 veered to his or her (they all look alike to me at that age) right, cut in front of the baby in lane 2 and grabbed the treat before the baby in lane 2 could get to it.
Then the baby in lane 3 continued on, crossed the finish line and was declared the winner.
Pending the outcome of his, or her, drug test.
(Photos of this year's derby haven't been posted yet, but for a look at the kind of action you missed, click on www.dorothylane.com/stores/photos.pl?id=26 to see highlights of the 2013 Baby Derby).
Contact this columnist at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.
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