Talking with kids about hard history, including the events of 9/11

Pamela’s daughter, Jasmine, visiting the 9/11 Memorial in Beavercreek which features a 3-ton steel of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. The memorial is located at 1153 N. Fairfield Road. CONTRIBUTED

Pamela’s daughter, Jasmine, visiting the 9/11 Memorial in Beavercreek which features a 3-ton steel of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. The memorial is located at 1153 N. Fairfield Road. CONTRIBUTED

This past week, I had the opportunity to speak with a group of students about the events of Sept. 11, 2001. As I listened to their questions, I was struck by how difficult it can be to explain painful chapters of history to young people.

Yet these conversations matter. Hard history, whether it’s 9/11, wars, slavery or other injustices of the past shapes the world our children are growing up in, and they look to us for understanding.

Here are a few strategies that can help parents and educators approach these conversations with care:

  • Start with their questions. Children are naturally curious, and their questions often reveal what they are ready to hear. Instead of beginning with a lecture, let them guide the discussion.
  • Tell stories, not just facts. Timelines and numbers fade, but stories endure. Personal accounts where you were, what you experienced, how people helped make history relatable and memorable.
  • Use honest, clear language. Avoiding or softening difficult truths can confuse children. Clear words help them understand and build trust.
  • Balance truth with hope. Alongside tragedy, emphasize the helpers and changemakers. In the case of 9/11, stories of first responders and ordinary citizens remind children that compassion and courage can shine in dark times. As Mister Roger’s famously said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping’.”
  • Keep the conversation open. Hard history cannot be covered in one discussion. Children’s understanding deepens as they grow, so let them know it’s okay to return with more questions. The depth of details and stories will grow as they age. History you explain to a four year old will not be the same at 14 so remember these conversations are age appropriate and continue to build over time.
  • Connect the past to the present. Events like 9/11 are not just history; their effects continue today. Drawing connections helps children see how the past shapes the world they live in and how they too can contribute to a better future.

At the heart of these conversations is a simple goal: to raise young people who are grounded in truth, capable of empathy, and prepared to face the complexities of the world with both courage and compassion.

Pamela Chandler is a local mom who writes the Gem City Family column for the Dayton Daily News. Reach out to her at thechandlercrew3@gmail.com.

About the Author