A I'm curious as to whether your 15-year-old sees his behavior as a problem. I would think that at his age his overemotional reactions would cause some degree of social distress or embarrassment.
If your son is concerned about his behavior, then counseling from a behavioral perspective should be considered.
A behavioral approach would focus on teaching him different ways to identify his emotional reactions and thought patterns and then work on ways to get them under control.
If your son doesn’t see it as a problem, I would not pursue therapy.
Q My 13-year-old daughter is a good student and involved in many school activities. My husband wants her to learn martial arts as a way to protect herself. My daughter is opposed to this and I'm not sure what to do.
A Look for some kind of compromise that may work for the three of you.
Perhaps your daughter could enroll in a several week course to learn some basic self-defense skills, rather than a several year martial arts program.
It’s also important to realize that the greatest threats faced by teenagers typically occur when they put themselves in dangerous situations such as corresponding with strangers on the Internet, texting while driving or engaging in unsafe sexual practices and other similar behaviors.
Avoiding such situations will offer your daughter much more protection than martial arts training.
Q My 10-year-old daughter refuses to get out of bed and dress herself in the morning.
If I don’t sit on her bed and watch her pick out her clothes, put them on, etc., she will scream and dive back under the covers. She also refuses to go to her bedroom alone for any reason.
I don’t want to disregard her fears, but I just don’t understand them.
A Assuming your daughter has no other developmental or emotional issues, the behavior that you describe sounds more like manipulation than fearful behavior.
The solution requires you to be very clear and firm regarding your expectations.
Sitting on her bed while she dresses in the morning simply reinforces her inappropriate behavior.
This may take a few weeks of you being strict with your rules, but I suspect she will change her behavior when she finds it no longer gets your attention.
This is not typical 10-year-old behavior. If you don’t see any changes with a firm approach within the next few weeks, consider contacting a mental health professional who specializes in working with young children.
Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., is a child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton. For more of his columns, visit www.childrensdayton.org/ramey.
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