When a baby is cranky, sleepy or frustrated, sucking on a pacifier provides a sense of comfort. In the beginning, pacifiers can be an essential tool parents use to get their babies to sleep. But the pacifier can go from being an ally to an enemy in the blink of an eye.
Case in point: Suri Cruise, the nearly 5-year-old daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, was recently photographed with a pacifier in her mouth, sparking debate about appropriate pacifier use all over the Internet. Cruise and Holmes also got plenty of flak a few years back for allowing Suri to use a bottle past the age of 2, but that’s another issue.
While this may be an extreme example, it raises the question for parents of how to break the habit, when and why.
“Pacifiers should be limited to use at naps and bedtime and not reinserted once the child is asleep. Infants who are breastfeeding should not use the pacifier until they have firmly established breastfeeding, usually about a month of age,” according to Dr. Eileen Kasten, director of developmental pediatrics, and MaryBeth DeWitt, PhD., manager of Child Psychology, at The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton.
“If pacifier use is restricted to sleep time, the child is more likely to spontaneously discard its use at an expected age.”
According to the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, most children will cease sucking on pacifiers and thumbs voluntarily by age 2-4. For those older than 3, the AAPD recommends intervention to avoid long-term problems; an extended sucking habit can affect the way a child’s teeth bite together and the way the jaws grow.
“Certainly, the pacifier should be stopped before the permanent teeth come in; probably families need to start getting rid of the pacifier around age 4 so hopefully, it’s gone by age 5,” according to Kasten and DeWitt.
Dayton parent Melissa Blair has had extensive and varied experiences with pacifiers and her four children. Her oldest kids stopped using a pacifier by age 2 and 3, and her youngest only used one for three days. At almost 4 years old, her third child’s strong attachment to the pacifier is now causing problems.
“Around a year old, we made pacifier naptime/bedtime only,” Blair said, noting that after her son transitioned to a big bed, he could only use the pacifier in bed, but regressed and used it all the time.
Potty training and the addition of a new baby added more transition stress, and Blair’s hopes that her son would give up the pacifier voluntarily.
“We are now to a point where I have had to take drastic steps. The dentist keeps commenting on his teeth, that she can tell he sucks his thumb or a pacifier,” Blair said.
Blair allows the pacifier only at bedtime, which has affected naptime.
“We even went out and bought a special stuffed animal to replace the pacifier at naptime. He is really good about having some quiet time without his pacifier, but he has not had a nap in over two weeks, and he is very cranky at bedtime,” Blair said.
Springboro parent Mandy Pressel found little success with her first attempts to break her son’s pacifier habit. But, when her son was 2½, she made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
“We cut him a deal; give up the pacifier, and we’ll buy you a motorized Jeep. He was so excited to get the Jeep and would have given up anything in exchange for it,” Pressel said. “Before he was allowed to ride it, we gathered up all of his pacifiers and asked him to throw them in the trash. He did so willingly and spent the remainder of the day playing with his reward.”
By bedtime, the fun was over.
“He screamed, cried, pleaded for his pacifier,” Pressel said. “We reminded him of the Jeep and throwing the pacifiers in the trash. He was so ticked and screamed, ‘Take the Jeep back to the store. I want my pacifier.”
The experience taught Pressel a lesson.
“In retrospect, we never should have allowed him to use the pacifier after he turned 1. Habits are so much harder to break after their first birthday,” Pressel said.
Beavercreek parent Britney Falkinburg was very aware of that 1-year deadline.
“My youngest did love his pacifier, but at 12 months, he was not allowed to have it during the day, just at nap time and bed-time. A couple months after that I took it completely away,” Falkinburg said. “During the day, if he was fussy, I would try to distract him with toys and at night he just had to cry, which he only did for a few minutes the first couple of nights.”
Falkinburg stresses the importance of consistency when breaking the pacifier habit.
“You can’t not give it to them one day and then give it to them the next day because they are extra fussy,” Falkinburg said.
For Beavercreek parent Michele Pucciani, breaking the pacifier habit for her children was unique to each of them.
“We cut the tips of Megan’s pacifiers, and she would tell us they were broken and throw them out. The paci fairy came to visit Brian one night and took all his pacifiers and left a present, but he had a blanket lovey for security. Jenna kept losing hers so it was cold turkey, and she was fine,” Pucciani said.
Since pacifiers are such a source of comfort for little ones, the pacifier habit can be difficult to break, for both parent and child. Be consistent in your decision and be patient.
Give your little one more hugs, kisses or a special incentive to say good-bye to the pacifier, and you both will make it through this transition.
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