Cindy learned it wasn’t good to be a tattletale. Greg realized hot, groovy chicks didn’t like cocky, self-centered guys. And poor Jan learned to deal with the harsh realities of her middle-child insecurities. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”
It was laughter with a lesson every single time.
This was 40 years ago, during a time when the world was becoming more like Cheech and Chong. The Bradys were a breath of fresh air and a source of inspiration at a time when the world turned ugly.
They promoted all we want to embrace — the love of family and the lessons of life.
With that as a backdrop, it’s no wonder so many people my age wanted to become parents. It all looked so easy.
But we were conned.
It’s true. Turns out raising children is a lot more demanding than the Bradys ever showed us. Now that I think about it, it’s as if they weren’t a real family. Hmmm, why didn’t the girls’ real father ever exercise visitation? Why didn’t the boys’ real mother ever sue for custody? I suppose now you’ll tell me they didn’t have real grass in their back yard.
Oh, the agony of it all.
Parenting is more like a TV drama than a sitcom. Sure, it has its light moments, and the rewards can be out of this world. Before our daughter was born, my wife — who has a son from a previous marriage — told me that a child creates a love in you like you’ve never known before. She was right.
Children are innately beautiful. They are unique and creative and a blessing because of their differences. The magic comes when their individuality comes shining through.
But has anyone found the handbook that shows the universally correct way to raise them? And just how responsible are we for their problems later in life?
That’s what makes parenting so hard.
There are tough questions at every turn. What’s the proper age for a child to have a cell phone? What about a Facebook account? What movies can they watch and music can they listen to? Do you ever call a coach or the school when a child is disciplined, or do you figure that’s part of the experience of life?
The questions can go on and on. How many mistakes do you let them make in order to teach them a lesson? Is giving in more an act of love or a real hindrance to their future development? Do you let them date someone you know is obviously bad? Do you discourage a break-up just because you like the date more than they do?
We could get 50 parents in a room and never get a unanimous decision on a single issue. And, meanwhile, the world moves faster and the challenges get more demanding. What’s a parent to do?
I say, two things. One, remember there are no perfect parents, no matter what that big mouth you know wants to suggest. And two, do everything in love. Train in love. Discipline in love. Fall flat on your face and try all over again, in love.
That’s what the Bradys did.
This is why a reprisal of The Brady Bunch series would be a good idea now. Mr. Brady is gone, and the kids are all married with children. But what they can show is hope that a solution to life’s tough moment can be found, if only we invest in the proven methods to obtain them.
In the first episode, Cindy’s children can learn they aren’t actually deprived, as they often complain. Instead, compared with other children in the world, they are spoiled. In week two, Peter’s children can learn that all their technology, while convenient, doesn’t always buy peace and quality relationships.
The rest of the first year would be just as meaningful, tackling drugs, the perils of text messaging and the meaningless many of today’s youth find in life.
It’ll be laughter with a lesson all over again. Providing hope. Showing love.
And, once again, making it all look so easy.
Jeff Kirby is a lawyer and writer who lives in Springboro. He can be reached at jeffkirby1@aol.com.