Dear Peggy, only move these children if you want to deprive them of a wonderful learning opportunity.
I used to involve myself in kids’ nonsense. I don’t anymore. What I do now allows me to be calm, very strict and get compliance after the first training session.
I’ll give you three different ways to deal with arguing. In this scenario, three kids are arguing over the proper way to play an educational math game. You can choose which one is best for you.
Method 1
Kid: Give me my money! Teacher! Robert is cheating, and Kayla is laughing at me!
Kid #2: (Laughing) No, I’m not!
Teacher: What is it now?
Kid: Well, I’ll tell you. Robert refuses to give me my money. See, he’s the banker, but he doesn’t understand the rules because he wasn’t listening when you explained the rules —
Kid #3: Yes I was! You —
Teacher: Hold on Robert. Let Janae explain. How many times have I told you to let people talk —
Kid #3: But —
Teacher: You’re not letting me talk! OK, who is supposed to be the banker?
Kid #2 and Kid #3: I am!!
Teacher: You can’t both be the banker! Where are your game pieces?
Kid # 2: Robert stole them!
Kid #3: NO I DID NOT!!!
Teacher: STOP IT ALL OF YOU!! I have no idea why you can’t listen to the simplest instructions, and I have no idea why everyone always accuses you of stealing, but you never take responsibility, Robert. Anyway, you all need to listen and stop arguing while I explain the game again … .
These next two scenarios show the two ways I handle this situation.
Method 2
Kid: Give me my money! Mr. Ervin! Robert is cheating, and Kayla is laughing at me!
Kid Whisperer: Oh, man. Sounds like a problem. Can you all solve this yourselves or would you like me to solve it for you?
Kids: You can solve it!
Kid Whisperer: Okey dokey.
(With a smile, I take the game and put it away.)
Done. I find that they choose to solve their own problems after that.
The other way I can deal with this situation goes like this:
Method 3
Kid: Give me my money! Mr. Ervin! Robert is cheating, and Kayla is laughing at me!
Kid Whisperer: Oh, man. Can you solve this problem now, or would you like to solve this problem later?
The arguing continues.
Kid Whisperer: Oh, man. I guess you can solve this problem later.
That day, at recess or after school, I ask them to come sit at their desks.
Kid Whisperer: Hi everyone. OK, you guys chose to solve your problem later. Now it’s later. Feel free to solve your problem in any way that doesn’t cause a problem. Let me know when you’ve come up with a solution to your problem. Good luck.
At this point I go to my desk and eat a sandwich. As soon as they all agree on a solution that doesn’t cause a problem they can leave.
Done. Again, after going through this training session, kids in my classes tend to want to solve their own problems.
Peggy, I hope this helps. Let me know how this goes.
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